Back in three weeks from my yearly pool immersion therapy.

Ripley's Believe It Or Not

Newsweek rips off Sigourney Weaver as Ripley in 1979's "Alien."

(H/t NewsBusters) (Village Voice) (ZD)

CNBC: Substandard & Poor

CNBC downgraded for not living up to the hype "First In Business."

Trader Daily

Fox News is simulcasting a special FBN live biz block Sunday 9-11p hosted by Gerri Willis. CNBC goes live 8-10p.

This is hardly the first time CNBC has dropped the ball on weekend breaking biz news.

Update:  CNBC screws up heartless Treasury sec Geithner's last name in Sunday's 8p hour:

Fox's High Five

Where's the beef?

After less than a month on the air, the beef swamps rivals' Satan sandwiches on Fox's newest menu offering: The Five.
 
Thursday The Five topped FNC's Shep Smith, Greta Van Susteren 25-54 and nipped Hannity's heels.

Beating their meat in total viewers and the golden 25-54 demo.  August 4, 2011 cable news ratings TV by the Numbers

Beckel hangs loose.

It's like Glenn who? with a loosey-goosey panel of five Fox News personalities dominated by the captivatingly flawed Dem doyen veteran political talking head Bob Beckel and rubber-faced funnyman Greg Gutfeld.

Blunt Bob, gregarious Greg, Fox biz hunk Eric Bolling, and blindingly lip-glossed gals (brunettes: lawyer Kimberly Guilfoyle, NYDN columnist Andrea Tantaros, and blondes: radio talker Monica Crowley, Bush press spox Dana Perino), play well off each other on a relaxed set where brains and dance moves coexist with no cognitive dissonance.

The irreverent, unpredictable Beckel is building an audience with non sequiturs like Vladimir Putin "is bisexual."  Bob, avoid tea. And suspicious umbrellas on cloudless days.

The Five ensemble of rotating talent is scheduled to run through the summer. The only two I hope are permanently rotated out:  Andrew Napolitano and Geraldo Rivera.

CNN Hand On The Run

Nowhere Man

A leading conservative Brit politician is hell-bent on fixing a hole in Piers Morgan's phone hacking denials when he was editor of The Daily Mirror now that Paul McCartney is ratting on Morgan to police after McCartney's ex-wife, Heather, accused Larry King's CNN successor of illegal cell phone hacking her voice mail messages. UK Guardian Daily Mail  NYT

Two other Brit pols -- conservative and Labor Party -- are also demanding Piers produce Himself across the pond. THR

Piers to Parliament:  Bollocks!  NYT

Mills claims Piers quoted word for word a voice message in 2001 then-husband Sir Paul left for Mills. BBC

I Should've Known Better. Yesterday.  McCartney and Morgan.  (Newsmax)

The usually loquacious, no boundaries self-promoter's mouthpiece, CNN, is attacking the messenger, Ms. Mills.  NYT:

Piers made a legion of enemies Over There. Morgan's Twitter quote "One day you're cock of the walk, the next a feather duster" is eerily prescient.  Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Golden Girl

"Williams declined to comment on his daughter." NYP interviews NBC Nighty News anchor Brian Williams's daughter, Allison, who at 23 and just out of Yale, landed a starring role on HBO's New Sex and the City -- Girls -- coming to a TV near you early 2012.

Allison plays Marnie, "a sexy, bitchy and ambitious assistant at a slick political PR firm whose goal is to practice environmental law."  Deadline

Al Sharpton and MSNBC: Claws For Alarm

  Comcast CEO Brian Roberts brags the six-month old NBC Universal acquisition jacks up Comcast's revenues by billions on the “continuing strength of many of their businesses, particularly the cable channels with their wonderful brands.”  Brian Stelter NYT

Al  "Creature From The Black Lagoon" Sharpton clawed his way to MSNBC by scaring the FCC into approving the Comcast NBCU deal.  NYT The Daily Beast

Comcast rewarded Al's other employer, Radio One, by giving the black-owned company more than 50% ownership in TV One.  Comcast owned 34% in TV One to Radio One's 36.8% before Al's FCC intervention. The Daily Beast

Although Radio One reportedly pays Sharpton $700,000 a year, he is filling MSNBC's 6p hole sans dough and contract. Is MSNBC, under fire for the presumptive Sharpton Comcast NBC acquisition payback hire, having buyer's remorse after reports Comcast paid off contributed $140,000 to Sharpton's National Action Network and installed the group on Comcast NBC's "diversity board?" The Daily

Al is a two-headed monster: pimp and nappy-headed ho with an alarming conflict of interest.

(H/t Johnny Dollar)

Related:  The Case Against Al Sharpton at MSNBC John Hudson The Atlantic