I've been really bummed since I decided to Go To The Next Level and stop writing Chickaboomer. Some of you are bummed as well.
"Marty, what am I to do. You leave us at a bad time. Please reconsider your decision. Politics won't be the same without your Flavor. If it must be so, Good bye old friend.And whose going to make those announcements when someone leaves the planet? like Tony Curtis, this morning." ?????? Doug
"Maybe you can get that Dick Head Dictionary thing published!" Guest commenter [In 1993 I co-wrote THE DICKHEAD DICTIONARY: A Guide To Impossible Men. Got press even though it wasn't published! Appeared on CNBC (they asked) to pimp the manuscript. Anchoress Kelly Lange [wife of "The Exorcist" director William Friedkin) gushed: "It's so hot it singes my hands!"
DICKHEAD is in book form with back cover blurbs: "This is REALLY funny!" Larry King (I witnessed him read it). "Blisteringly, outrageously perceptive. Hilarious!" St. Martin's Press. "Very professional . . . quite funny!" Judith Regan Regan Books. Then again, Judith ran with O.J.'s "IF I DID IT" confession that was a career killer -- for Judith. "You'll NEVER eat lunch in this town again." Washingtonian editor-at-large Chuck Conconi (Yeah, Chuck, I did eat lunch in this town again with you at The Palm where I entertained the power-packed restaurant with a drunken simulation of Meg Ryan's Katz deli rock the table fake orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally.") In the early 90s. Before I got sober nearly 15 years ago.
"This was one of the most original blogs in the history of the internet and if I had Spitzer's in-laws type money I would contribute to keep it going. What an extra shame that Chickaboomer had to stop on the eve of Christiane Amanpour's ratings being pubiished as all time low for ABC. On the positive side, Westin, Klein and Zucker are out. So you're leaving on a high note." Raphael
"Marty, I'm so sorry to hear this!!! You've enriched all our lives and I'm going to miss this romp thru cleverly written and conceived gems of enlightenment. Good luck to you in all you do, and please let us know what that next level might be. I still say you should write that book I've bugged you to write for all these years. What tales you could tell! And of course, you're invited to appear on my Year in Review program, Friday evening 12/17, 10PM-12Midnight ET. . . . Have you ever considered how well you do, how much you do? Arianna would shit a mousepad trying to a tenth of what you do! . . . You have such a gift with words. I do admire you so. . . . Whatever the routine may be, it's your spot-on cleverness which carries the day. Any of us could check the websites. Only you come up with the creative turn of phrase. I'm so glad you started CB! I steal from it!" Jim Bohannon, "The Jim Bohannon Show"
"I love it that your giving the left (especially the media) what it deserves! Give 'em hell." Susan Alvarado
"I read all sorts of sources from all over the net...and I've found a number of 'expert sites' in each subject area where I'm sourcing...for media matters I trust your analysis & commentary more than any other I've found...you may think of yourself as a 'pop info' columnist but I see you as a serious media analyst whose opinions & conclusions I trust explicitly.". . . Marty...I read your site daily and any updates you send out...and you know I love your work... It must take hours to compile all those news biz stories, political hits and the links/videos that go with them...and then build your page for posting... But I don't see any advertising...how are you paying for all this? Is there a subscription cost? (whatever it is, I'll pay it) ...do you accept 'operations donations'? (I'll chip in if you do...) If the finances behind your site are none of my business, tell me to just piss-off and I'll be quiet." Jim Coles (Oh, don't keep quiet, Jim. Just keep pissing inside my tent . . .)
"I am a fan of Chickaboomer." David Zurawik, Z on TV, Baltimore Sun.
"Your headlines are genius. I wouldn't have come up with that in a week!" Johnny Dollar's Place
"I'm embarrassed to say I only found your blogabout a month ago, but I think it's terrific." Michael Malone, Broadcasting & Cable, 2008 email
"It was great contributing to your blog. I had fun. I've always enjoyed your insights into political and media issues. There were three blogs I always read several times a day: . . . I remember you were my therapy when my dog died last year. For that I'll always be thankful to you. Still miss him even though I have a new one. Best wishes always, Marty. Your very loyal fan and friend, Vinney, Chickaboomer's head joke writer
"I am soooooo sad to hear that! Your commentary and witty remarks usually made my day – by far the most fun I had when reading blogs, various sites in the industry. . . . I justg want to let you know that it’s been a real pleasure working with you. You have such keen insight and know how to incorporate that in with much humor. Chickaboomer was a very enjoyable and informative read." TV industry insider
Here's what I'm thinking:
(A) Turn Chickaboomer into a book in the genre of George Carlin's BRAIN DROPPINGS;
(B) Write that autobio I've threatened for 25 years;
(C) Challenge Joy Behar to a mud wrestling match at Rockefeller Center's ice rink to determine who's the bigger whore: Joy or Christine O'Donnell.
So I need a publisher. HarperCollins imprint?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
CNN: Fiddling While Rome Burns
"I was looking at my iPhone on Friday and I thought, boy, this is not a good day to be a middle-aged white male media executive. I was tempted to turn the phone off and hide under the desk." Rome Hartman, executive producer 'BBC World News America' to CNN 'Reliable Sources' host Howard Kurtz on the freaky Friday firings of NBC CEO Jeff Zucker and CNN prez Jon Klein.
Hartman knows whereof he speaks. He was fired as Katie Couric's CBS Evening News executive producer after six months.
Sunday's 'Reliable Sources' transcript.
In The Pink
The curvy, glamorous. unreasonable facsimiles thereof, which won't be shipped until December 15th, carry a warning: CHOKING HAZARD -- Small Parts. Not for children under 3 years.
Not for anyone over the age of three . . .
"Christine O'Donnell": I Masturbate Constantly
A fake Christine O'Donnnell confesses to two fake Republican consultants that once she found out what masturbation was, she whacks off "constantly." SNL's
Friday night Bill Maher dug up another Christine clip. This one from 1998 where she claims "evolution is a myth." Video here.
NYT columnista Maureen Dowd plays monkey see, monkey do.
Jon Klein: CNN's Coarse Air Expired Bilge Rat
Jamie McIntyre, former CNN Pentagon correspondent (let go in 2008 after 16 years with the network), on The De-Kleining Fortunes Of CNN:
CNN now has a new president at the helm, Ken Jautz, but he shows no early sign of steering the network back toward it traditional journalistic roots. In an interview with the AP, Jautz said, “the traditional, straightforward, facts-only approach to the shows in prime time probably won’t do as well, because there are so many other places … where people interested in information can get the facts by the time we get to prime time. People are interested in something in addition to the facts: context, analysis or, yes, opinion.”
As a reporter who always felt my job was bringing facts to bear on the story, and informing rather than inflaming public opinion, I’m beginning to feel like Jimmy Buffett in “A Pirate Looks at 40,” namely: “My occupational hazard is, my occupation’s just not around."
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Caption This!
Michelle's fun house Mirror captures Leaders of the Free (and not so Free) World wives down on a farm not far from Manhattan.
Zucker's Golden Parachute
God Told Jon Klein To Hire Eliot Spitzer
Related: Brian Stelter NYT "CNN Fires Jonathan Klein"
Stephen Colbert: Fruit Of The Loon
Colbert figuratively packed corn up the Democrats' asses after joking about gay Iowans to an Iowa committee member. Cringe-worthy in the hallowed halls of Congress where the sight of House Judiciary subcommittee members following congressional rules of order were in stark contrast to Colbert's witness comportment -- or lack thereof.
It was like watching an exotic dancer perform a pole dance before the Pope:
ABC News The spectacle was a smear on the Democrats, Congress (Colbert didn't read the bill just like, he said, members of Congress), and America's founding fathers.
Tip O'Neill is rolling in his grave as a majority of NYDN readers find Colbert's shtick "incredibly funny." House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: "Of course I think it's appropriate. He's an American. He can bring attention to an important issue. I think it's great!"
Next on C-SPAN: Congress adopts European-style fisticuffs to halt filibusters.
Colbert was all over the map, offering a video of his colonoscopy; asserting that Fruit of the Loom engineers have figured out a "human-fruit hybrid;" inserted crude references throughout his testimony. Democrats laughed idiotically. Republicans remained stoned-faced.
Sensing the damage to Democrats, the NYTimes covered it straight. The Washington Post pins it on Republicans: "Stephen Colbert Testifies in G.O.P. Character."
Score: Colbert 0, Congress 0, America 0
Friday, September 24, 2010
Klein Shrugs: "I got shot.'
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His wife (left) still likes him.
Black Friday at 30 Rock, CNN
CNN 'Reliable Sources' host and Washington Post media maven Howard Kurtz.
Zucker Out At NBC
The Grim Reaper Comcast has come at last.
Zucker tells the NYT's Bill Carter the handwriting was on the wall two weeks ago during a meeting with Comcast ax man Steve Burke.
Despite Zucker's dubious tenure, GE boss Jeff Immelt gushes: "I love Jeff I'd hire him again."
Zucker, conceding "the rap on me," appears to be positioning himself for a new career in politics.
Read Zucker's email here.
ABC's 'Nightline' Creams Leno, Letterman
ABC press release trumpets:
ABC NEWS' "NIGHTLINE" IS No. 1 IN TOTAL VIEWERS
IN LATE NIGHT FOR THE 2009/2010 SEASON
VICTORY MARKS "NIGHTLINE'S" FIRST SEASON WIN
AMONG TOTAL VIEWERS IN 15 YEARS
TVbytheNumbers notes the irony: Jay's numbers are below Conan's in the week that NBC debuted Jay's disasterous 10p prime time show.
Non-Story of the Day
FishbowlDC's Betsey Rothstein seems to think this tweet from Huffington Post young scribe Arthur Delaney is original, timely, amusing and worthy of precious Fishbowl DC real estate. How old is Delaney anyway? Maybe he just discovered the 1960s "Munsters" TV series . . .
Off With His Head! CNN Cans Klein
FTVLive (stands for Fucked TV) gets the scoop that CNN president Jon Klein just had his head handed to him. He's gone. Replaced by HLN's Ken Jautz. NYT's Brian Stelter reports Klein has left the building. Stelter's parroting the company line that Klein is "leaving,."
Klein's "firing" is BREAKING NEWS! at the Huffington Post TVNewser finds the firing's timing "strange," but then again, it seems that CNN's moves as of late (Spitzer, Piers Morgan) are strange . . . It makes sense to broom Klein before the new prime-time lineup debuts.
CNN 'Reliable Sources' host and Washington Post media czar Howard Kurtz tweets:
Baltimore Sun TV critic David Zurawik, a frequent talking head on Kurtz's CNN show, speculates Klein wasn't calling the shots in the hiring of Spitzer, Parker, Morgan, and the elevating of Rick Sanchez to 4p's "Ricks List" and 8p seat-filler.
Klein's replacement, Ken Jautz, has solid reporter chops.
Related: LAT Joe Flint: CNN shakes up executive ranks amid continuous prime-time ratings woes
Axe To Grind
Larry King's SNL Pitch
Perry Nation
Singer Katy Perry's Sesame Street bit scheduled to air November 3rd yanked after parents saw the bit on YouTube. Why? Too much boob. Fickle me, Elmo!
Wash Post TV temptress Lisa de Moraes muses about the hypocrisy. A NYDN readers' poll reveals 75% of those responding don't give a rat's ass about the "controversy."
Sesame Street guest stars over the years:
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Sesame Street suits force ABC's Diane Sawyer to hide her charms.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Ahmadinejab
Perhaps the titular head of state will clarify the state his head was in when he made that U.N. speech Thursday in which he suggested the U.S. was behind 9/11. NYP The U.S. delegation bolted at that remark. NYDN H/t ZD
Four out of five talking heads agree: Ahmadinejad was playing to his audience back in Iran. Even so, it was outrageous.
Greta: Mind if I smoke while you're mistreating?
Bill Kills
MSNBC's Keith Olbermann had the lock on rabid liberal psychopaths while CNN's Rick Sanchez maintained his fans with gnat attention spans still unable to color between the lines.
The O’Reilly Factor– 3,400,000 viewers (761,000) (1,589,000)
Rick’s List –517,000 viewers (130,000) (183,000)
Countdown w/ K. Olbermann – 1,033,000 viewers (311,000) (513,000)
Coca Cola the Real Story– 206,000 viewers (100,000) (101,000)
Nancy Grace – 505,000 viewers (167,000) (247,000)
Conservative Talk Jocks Rock
Colbert: Dems Barely There
GEORGE: "I was talking to a Democratic strategist... they think this rally is ... actually going to help Democrats in November.
STEPHEN: "I can't believe that's true. I think it's going to take more than a march to help the Democrats in November. I think it might need leadership . . . maybe a few more ideas."
Rattled heh-heh-heh GEORGE: "So, so, chances to hold Congress?
Colbert when George asks him if his "Keep Fear Alive" DC rally was hatched to compete with Glenn Beck's 8/28 rally: "Who is that. He's a DJ, isn't he?"
On Christine O'Donnell: "I think she's gone into a subterranean bunker with Sean Hannity."
Colbert suggests Stephanopoulos reprise his role as WH chief of staff when Rahm Emanuel bails to run for mayor of Chicago. Colbert to George, noting the cutthroat blood sport of politics where fear rules and weakness cuts the gladiators down to size: "You used to be six five."
Rattled George, babbling he's five six, shuts up the unpredictable Colbert with the hackneyed interview wrap "We'll have to leave it there" or words to that effect, and nearly knocks his coffee cup off the anchor desk. George's last word: "Whoa!"
Leg Press
Knee-jerk liberal radio talk show flame-thrower Bill Press takes Bill Clinton's Global Initiative "Investing in Women and Girls" mandate much too seriously...
Photo via FishbowlDC
Major Defection
Former Fox News WH major domo Major Garrett left Fox in early September to return "home" to print as major politico domo at the National Journal. From his numerous tweets, one concluded he was done with TV news.
So why did Major stoop to minor league batting with "Hardball's" Chris Matthews on rival MSNBC?
So why did Major stoop to minor league batting with "Hardball's" Chris Matthews on rival MSNBC?
CNN, MSNBC Morning Sickness
Rope A Dope
NYDN's Richard Huff jumps into the faux fray at his own risk as the Fox News host and "The Most Trusted Man In America" try to outdo each other on Wednesday's O'Reilly Factor. Video.
Billionaire talk show queen Oprah Winfrey thinks Stewart's "on to something" (or perhaps on something), and is encouraging her fans to go to Stewart's October 30th rally.
Huffington Post plucked Stewart's nugget that O'Reilly is "too left-wing" for Fox News.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Jon Stewart: Right On The Money
CNBC held a town meeting "with real questions from real Americans," shouts a gleeful Jon Stewart. "With the aim of holding Barack Obama, America's CEO, to account. Giving Barack Obama the distinction of being the only CEO CNBC has ever held accountable."
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