Sonia Sotomayor's Wusband

Meet Supreme Court Justice nominee Sonia Sotomayor's ex-husband. A Chicago lawyer. Chicago. Chicagoland is Obamaland. Even cell phone companies' billboards dot the freeways advertising their services as "Change You Can Believe In."

Sonia and Yonkers, NY native Kevin Noonan embarked on A New Beginning on August 14, 1976 - right after Princeton graduation and three years before she graduated from Yale Law. The pair vowed "No, we can't" and divorced in 1983. No progeny.

Dr. Noonan is a partner at Chicago's tony patent, copyright, and trademark law firm of McDonnell Boehnen Hulbert & Berghoff. They do a lot of work for Big Pharmaceutical as well as telecommunications. Read Noonan's January 2009 opinion of Newsweek as "anti-patent." The first paragraph: "Ah, the popular press! Purported protectors of our fundamental freedoms, their behavior (at least in the mainstream press) has recently been less than noble. Eschewing the role of crusader (or even muckraker), the press seems to look for the common popular denominator of received wisdom, and then to trumpet it."

Really... Do you subscribe to the common popular denominator of received wisdom re: your ex-wife?

Dope on the Irishman from the firm's website where copying his hunky photo is disabled. Ah, but I scored the photo on his LinkedIn profile where he lists only Princeton and not John Marshall Law.

Kevin E. Noonan has extensive experience in biotechnology and the chemical arts. Dr. Noonan brings more than 10 years of experience as a molecular biologist working on high-technology problems to his legal work. He has wide experience in all aspects of patent prosecution and client counseling on validity, infringement, and patenting strategy matters. He represents pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies both large and small, and he is particularly experienced in representing university clients in both patent prosecution and licensing to outside investors.

Education
J.D., The John Marshall Law School, Cum Laude
Ph.D., Princeton University, Molecular Biology
Thesis: Genetic analysis of oncogenesis in mammalian cells
National Cancer Institute
Postdoctoral Fellowship
B.S., State University of New York

Noonan's lady is Cheryl Steiger. She's prettier than Sonia [Facebook photo] The unmarried (Web of Deception) lovers lived on Chicago's Gold Coast and moved to chi-chi Lincoln Park where the pair bought a home for just under $500,000 in 2003 and sold it for $530,000 three years later. Cheryl is an artist. More photos. Steiger and Noonan are in the $1,000 to $2,499 contributor category to Chicago's Shakespeare Theatre as of November 2008.

Anonymous commenter: "My guess would be that Kevin Noonan is still seeking therapy for that time he walked in on her and her “extra-special someone’s” extended legal briefing and found his beloved with carpet all over her face.

Separated At Birth

"Sonia Sotomayor is Janeane Garofalo without the tattoos." -Vinney, Chickaboomer's head joke writer

CNN: Bang A Gong

Yet another story about CNN's demise. "CNN Fades In Prime Time Picture" Michael Calderone Politico

CNN czar Jon Klein's deflecting the hail of criticism under a poison-tipped umbrella - an old KGB assassination trick. London. It's just a matter of time before Klein stabs himself.

Here's what I would do in the 8 and 10p news blocks: dump Campbell Brown's "No Bias No Bull" (she's off on maternity leave anyway) and replace it with a news Gong Show and live audience.

This concept has been brewing for 25 years since now-dead TIME columnist Hugh Sidey's 1984 offering "Politics As Gong Show": That one of the problems of governing today is the excessive partisanship of Republicans and Democrats seems not to have bothered the television impresarios, who appear determined to make the campaign the biggest Gong Show of this singular year. "Politics became fun," burbled Washington Post TV Critic Tom Shales. "National fun on live TV . . . nearly as action-packed as The A-Team." Will the political handlers, consultants, producers and scriptwriters—a flourishing industry now in league with the media—turn this campaign into a litany of despair, with each candidate exaggerating America's problems in order to sell his own solutions?

Why, just last week some noted financial guru penned a Huff Post column claiming "CNBC has become the Gong Show."

To bloggers and journalists who, 30 years ago - were either not on the planet or wailing to mommy to change their poopy diapers: nothing has changed. Blame Ronald Reagan. Marveling with disdain at political theatrics and media obsession is like so, 25 years ago.

"Time Has Come Today" (Chambers Brothers) for CNN to throw in the towel on self-perceived broadcast journalism objectivity. FOX to the right and MSNBC to the left are killing CNN in the ratings.

In my mind CNN's 9p Gong Show would take the best from Fox's "American Idol." Live audience. Panel of judges (there's got to be a bawdy broad like "The Gong Show's" Jaye P. Morgan). But make her young and sexy.

Find a Chuck Barris. He's got to be egoless, naturally funny, mellow and on drugs like Chuck. Maybe he's ex-CIA like Chuck claims HE was. The frenetic hosts only work if, in the end, they plan to shoot themselves on live TV.

I'm thinking: bring back Jim Moret who became a CNN star during the O.J. mess and then went on to "Inside Edition." Jim's dad is actor James Darren.

Or introduce a current CNN star to hallucinogenics.

One of the judges has to be CNN radio's Harry Beadle. A new household name! And award-winning credibility. Imagine Harry as the next Susan Boyle!

And the bane of Keith Olbermann: Baltimore Sun TV critic David Zurawik. That's Zur-a-wick.

The contestants are reporters - broadcast, print, and Internet. Each tries to avoid The Gong by spinning their best story of the day. The interactive talent competition allows the audience to vote.

CNN can dust off that obscenely expensive hologram technology used to much laughter during the 2008 presidential campaign (remember Wolf Blitzer and hologram honey Jessica Yellin?), and beam up some of the busy contestants on deadline.

The Magic Wall used to amaze and confuse by John King during the aforementioned election will be converted to a voice stress analysis thingamabob where all journalistic offerings will be run though the truth detector.

The audience has a Jay Leno "Sale or No Sale" opportunity to vote on whether the contestants are telling the truth or lying.

CNN's Gong Show would be a two-hour nightly extravaganza with the second hour a repeat of the first.

Campbell Brown and Anderson Cooper would be forced to enroll in the MSNBC Broadcast Journalism Re-education Camp at an Undisclosed Location (in the vicinity of Blackwater's secret torture training facility) in the mountains of western North Carolina.

Meanwhile Time Warner brass fire CNN prez Jon Klein before subjecting him to waterboarding (aired live on Larry King). Klein confesses in 2:17 to lying to the press about CNN's success. The broken and re-educated news exec is immediately rehired.

Sophie's Choice

The 80 foot yacht S.S. Sophie (named after a dead dog) unfortunately had no choice in her owners - the ever-humble Fox News star and more famous half of a Scientology power couple - Greta Van Susteren and her ambulance-chasing lawyer husband. [left photo caption: "S.S Sophie spends a large part of the year on the Chesapeake Bay with her owners (above), John Coale and Greta Van Susteren."]

See more photos here.

Greta leaves out the yacht in last week's USA Today Q & A.

Olbermann: It's A Conspiracy!

Can you stand any more on the Mancow/Olbermann waterboarding hoax?

Trapped in Gawker's tome is enough torture to make me confess to anything....

Can't sing for s**t, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Cross-promotion, anyone? Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee warbles a duet with "American Idol" winner Kris Allen (from Arkansas) on "Huckabee" tonight (Saturday).

Oh, and that, right, is the Huckabee show's ultramodern "green room."

Any suggestions on what the pair should sing? "Paint It Black" Rolling Stones?

How To Get A Man

Page Six: Anna David is on a roll. The hot brunette novelist -- out this week with "Bought," about a female journalist drawn into the world of Hollywood call girls -- is already at work on her third book, "Sexual Healing," which focuses on sexual addiction. "It's about a guy who loses interest in women as soon as he has sex with them, until he meets the one woman who won't sleep with him and becomes obsessed."

Did she have a fling with Larry King? Just asking... Years ago a California source told me how Shawn Southwick became Mrs. Larry King the Seventh, Eighth, Nineth - whatever. She absolutely refused to have sex with him unless he married her.

And now Larry is tired of her (heard he's back to his old tricks) and is feeding Shawn Stephen King's "Thinner" pie...

Cable News Ratings Thursday May 29, 2009

Via Drudge:

FOXNEWS OREILLY 3,526,000
FOXNEWS HANNITY 2,474,000
FOXNEWS BECK 2,009,000
FOXNEWS BAIER 1,871,000
FOXNEWS GRETA 1,834,000
FOXNEWS SHEP 1,787,000
MSNBC OLBERMANN 1,298,000
MSNBC MADDOW 1,029,000
CNNHN GRACE 915,000
CNN COOPER 852,000

Where's Larry King Alive? There are only two shows I watch. Bret Baier on Fox. And MSNBC's "Morning Joe." The only smart TV news shows on cable.

Obama: Geospace Cadet

Even I know what GEOINT is. Even MSNBC's Joe Scarborough knows what NGA is. "Intelligence tradecraft." And USGIF. He spoke to that group's awards dinner November 16, 2006 after NBC's then-WH correspondent David Gregory apparently bailed. An as we are all reminded rather tediously every day on "Morning Joe," Scarborough was a Republican congressman from Florida.

What Joe had to do with intelligence tradecraft I haven't quite figured out. Same with Gregory. The event is a who's who of who's huge in the intelligence biz. McConnell. Hayden. And more. I entertained going to the 2008 event in nearby Nashville.

"Spies For Hire" author Tim Shorrock emailed me before the event last year to express puzzlement that the open-to-the-press event doesn't get much Mainstream Media ink.

But Obama - only in the Senate two years, and on the COVER of the current NGA magazine for God's sake! - hasn't a clue and steps on his dick in front of God and everyone by focusing attention on space spies. He takes NBC's Brian Williams (who also has no idea) to his favorite burger hangout Five Guys.

Obama collars a government grunt who works for NGA in Herndon, VA near Dulles. Maybe Walter's cover as a burger flipper's just been blown by the president.

Politico's Ben Smith's transcript:

Obama: What do you do Walter?
Walter: I work at, uh, NGA, National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency
Obama: Outstanding, how long you been doing that?
Walter: About six years.
Obama: Yea?
Walter: Yes.
Obama: You like it?
Walter: I do, keeps me...
Obama: So explain to me exactly what this National Geospatial...uh...
Walter: Uh, we work with, uh, satellite imagery...
Obama: Right--
Walter: [unintelligible] ...support systems, so...
Obama: Sounds like good work.
Walter: Enjoy the weekend.
Obama: Appreciate it.



Space is the final frontier for spying. Obama may not have a clue. Probably doesn't even know what the NRO is. But his lieutenants do and they're continuing on the Bush/Cheney path.

USGIF San Antonio 2009 speakers

Christmas at the Van Susterens

All psychiatrists are normal. Some lawyers are normal. Greta Van Susternen's sister is a psychiatrist*. Greta Van Susteren is a Scientologist. Conclusions: Therefore all psychiatrists do not require massive plastic surgery; all Scientologists are narcissistic; some psychiatrists prescribe mood-altering drugs; all Scientologists eschew psychiatrists while secretly lusting for members of the same sex.

*Which I knew but those gossips in NYC did not.

Don't Have A Cow, Man!

Chicago radio talk show host Mancow used to appear on FOX manhandling a fake microphone. He's into faking. Just like this week when the prankster claiming to have undergone waterboarding appeared on MSNBC's "Countdown with Keith Olbermann."

If Olbermann and MSNBC knew in advance that the Mancow waterboarding incident was a publicity stunt and/or hoax – and ran Mancow talking to Olbermann like it really did happen, Olbermann and Phil Griffin deserve the much-used and highly effective hole in cane chair torture. Naked guy's chained to chair with vulnerable (to baseball bats) balls hanging through the hole...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Mika's Pumps: "X-Rated Fantasy"

What a tease! What a temptress! Mika Brzezinski refused to show us the high-heel black patent fuck-me pumps she wore this a.m. with that fabulous black shirtdress with the thin black patent belt. [photo Mika & Joe with new talking head du jour Tina Brown]

Horny septuagenarian adulter and former GE czar Jack "Neutron Jack" Welch's wad dribbled on his wingtips while conservative former Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan labeled them an "X-rated fantasy" and later, "a mortal sin." Lighten up, neurotic bitch! There's a reason why Peggy can't get a man.

At the end of the show where the talking heads stand on the set to tell us why they're smarter than a 5th grader, the camera takes a shot of Mika's gorgeous gams and her feet wrapped in what appears to be a $3,000 Armani jacket around her ankles and dragging on the floor.

How did I know her heels were black patent? The jacket slipped. I suspect Mika didn't want the world to see the telltale Christian Louboutin lipstick red soles. Hmm. Let me see. Tap shoes? Bergdorf's sells these Mary Janes for $965 and these gladiators for $1495. Which ones, gang?

As for Mika: "I thought they were tap shoes. I'll never wear them again." Honey, I challenge you to reveal your pumps like you did your sexy boot collection.

Don't do this to a neurotic shoe freak like me! I must KNOW!

Deja Vu

June 13, 1998 New York Times: "Rush Limbaugh, the conservative radio talk show host, warned the Senate that Judge Sotomayor was an ultraliberal who was on a ''rocket ship' to the Supreme Court."

Then-wary Republicans blocking the Bill Clinton 1997 nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the federal appeals court.

NYT Devaults Walt Disney

New York Times correction of the day: An article on Friday about the building of an animatronic figure [right] of President Obama for the Hall of Presidents exhibit at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Fla., referred incorrectly to Walt Disney’s role in the exhibit. While he supervised some of the early development, the exhibit did not open in 1971 “under his direct supervision.” (He died in 1966.) (Go to Article)

Where's the teleprompter in front of the Obama puppet?

For the record, Disney is entombed in a family vault at Forest Lawn in Glendale...

Obama: The Wizard of Facades

So much for the promised Obama transparency. The White House tried (and failed) yesterday to manipulate the Sonia Sotomayor Supreme Court spin from behind the Wizard of Oz's curtain.

Howard Kurtz Wash Post: Less than an hour after President Obama announced his Supreme Court nominee yesterday, two "senior administration officials" began holding forth for reporters on the virtues of Sonia Sotomayor. Several journalists in the Roosevelt Room briefing protested, saying there was no reason the officials couldn't speak on the record. One of the briefers, senior adviser David Axelrod, would be making a similar case on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC and PBS within hours. But Press Secretary Robert Gibbs stood his ground: No names could be attached. The effort to buttress the appeals court judge's nomination from behind a curtain of anonymity highlights the administration's determination to frame the narrative, even as cable news pundits and bloggers were alternately praising and criticizing Sotomayor.

What The Tuck?

New Fox News contributor Tucker Carlson is going head-to-head with Arianna Huffington's liberal Huffington Post with the boringly named "The Daily Caller."

Tucker vows to refresh the right-wing site "every seven minutes" and be "faster than Drudge."

Why The Daily Caller?

TuckPo. MotherTucker. LiberalFryerTuck. Nip/Tucker.

DancingWithThePoliticalCzars.com. MuckerTucker.

Judge Sonia Sotomayor Slips On Appeal

“…Court of Appeals is where policy is made, and I know this is on tape and I should never say that because we don’t make law. I know, um, ok, I know, I know. I’m not promoting it and I’m not advocating it. I’m, you know, um, ok, um…”



h/t Venrum Serum

How Do You Want Your Glenn Beck? Prickly or Smooth?

But there's just one thing
You see we never ever do nothing
Nice and easy
We always do it nice and rough
So we're gonna take the beginning of this song
And do it easy
Then we're gonna do the finish rough
This is the way we do "Proud Mary"

Glenn Beck fantasizes about going down on Proud Carrie. Prejean. Miss California. The lady's co-hosting Fox & Friends tomorrow.

Glenn fancies himself a chick magnet. That's why at 5:35p today he whipped out a Norelco and shaved the left half of his stubble on the air to give the ladies a choice. Easy. Or rough. Glenn, you got it wrong. The liberals have beards. You should've shaved the right side.

Several times the camera zoomed in on Glenn's face as he divided his face with his finger and flipped his face to and fro. Hey, Glenn, next time make sure that ghastly red zit in the middle of your chin is gone.

And I hear Carrie likes her men hairless somewhere else...

Senate Sharks v Jettisoned Republicans

Diabetic. Puerto Rican. Princeton. Yale. Tenement slum. Divorced, no kids. Federal bench via George Bush 41.

In honor of Obama's "historic" Supreme Court nominee - NY federal judge Sonia Sotomayor - permit me to mutilate West Side Story's "America":

I like to be in America
O.K. by me in America
College degree free in America
No need to plea in America

Judicial benches in America
Political stench in America
Media wenches in America
Very good deal in America

Greta Ire

"There's something about her when I watch her on TV. Like I'm getting billed for her time." Vinney, Chickaboomer's head joke writer, on Greta Van Susteren

Morning Glow

Is it just me? When I watched this video of Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough with the sappy annoying music bed, I couldn't stop thinking of that 1966 French movie "A Man and a Woman."

Da, da, DA da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DA, da da da da-da-da-da-dah...

Billed as Uncensored! (I'm breathless with anticipation!) So I dedicate the film's theme song oozed by Brazil's Astrud Gilberto to Mika Brzezinski and the Big TV News Headline Of The Day "The Two Of Us Were Not Going To Do Regular TV" :

Obama's Ministry of Peace

Obama's giving somebody a powerful WH gig as Cyber Czar. A license to snoop? The prez makes the announcement later this week.

Is Winston Smith available?

Fox Gretatire?

Here's the problem with Greta Van Susteren: Her show doesn't fit the Fox format. When she ventures into politics, it is obvious the "On The Record" hostess is clueless. The lawyer lucky enough to get on TV because of crime (O.J.) finds crime isn't prime anymore. Greta sucked the life out of the Natalee Holloway Aruba mystery. The murdering Petersons - Scott and Drew.

Greta's "exclusive" interviews with Sarah Palin were an ass-kissing embarrassment (so were Matt Lauer's), and she and her ambulance-chasing lawyer husband's subsequent relationship with the Alaska governor and First Dude Todd lend more credibility to critics claiming Van Susteren gets too close to her sources. [photo: Todd Palin & Van Susteren at the WHCD]

Watching Greta cozy up to Sarah Palin made me uncomfortable; I got the vibes that Greta was in love with the governor.

Greta's "brand" is not the future of Fox News. Her blog "Gretawire" should be called Gretawired. Shouting, shrill, and self-serving. I read it a few times and was distracted by all the capital letters and her obsession with CNN - the network that launched her career. She knows zip about politics; nobody values her political insights if the self-proclaimed non-journalist has any. Narcissistic Greta appears hellbent on merely promoting herself. Remember this is the same woman [before photo right] who appeared in People magazine in 2002 after undergoing a facelift (she claims she only had an eye job). Some say Fox engineered the surgery timing and press buzz to coincide with Greta's Fox News debut.

Prediction: Greta's contract won't be renewed. It might be tempting to insert Glenn Beck into the 10p slot, but he's killing in a time period that is normally ratings suicide. Fox brass deny the lovely and talented lawyer Megyn Kelly is at the top of the short list to replace Greta.

"A Host Defends Her Brand" Brian Stelter NYT: "Ms. Van Susteren’s ratings remain the envy of many a cable news host — but the numbers are considerably lower than those of Fox’s opinion shows, and they have prompted speculation (dismissed by the network) that she might be moved from the competitive 10 p.m. time slot... It is unclear how much longer Ms. Van Susteren will be at Fox. When Glenn Beck joined the network in January and posted high ratings in the 5 p.m. time slot, some wondered whether his program would be moved to 10 p.m. Ms. Van Susteren’s contract will end next year, if it is not renewed. Megyn Kelly, a morning co-host who is considered a rising star at Fox, is the leading candidate to replace Ms. Van Susteren at 10 p.m., according to three people with knowledge of the deliberations, which were intended to be private. Like Ms. Van Susteren, Ms. Kelly has a legal background and Washington reporting experience. Mr. Shine said the depiction of Ms. Kelly as Ms. Van Susteren’s replacement was “100 percent inaccurate.”Ms. Van Susteren declined to say how long she expected to stay at Fox, saying, “I really enjoy what I’m doing” but adding, “there’s a lot more to life than this.”

Must-read: "Regrettable Van Susteren" Jonah Goldberg 1998 The National Review

Mission Possible: How the NYT Blew The Scoop of the Century

Mr. Phelps, this tape will self-destruct in five seconds. There WAS a tape, so says then-NYT editor Robert Phelps. But he has no idea what happened to it. It's 1972. Phelps tapes a conversation with a NYT reporter tipped off to the Watergate scandal. But the Times doesn't follow up. Why admit this huge embarrassment now? NYT reporter Richard Perez-Pena reports Mr. Phelps has written a book prompting Mr. Smith the Reporter to break his silence.

Cue the flame:

CNN's Cooper Blooper?

CNN's strategy to spin Anderson Cooper as the front man of the flagging cable news network is a failure. Cooper's ratings have dived faster than Rachel Maddow & girlfriend on a boozy date night.

With CNN's ancient audience Larry King & the Borscht Belt Circuit would've been a better choice. It's still not too late, CNN!

Page Six: President Obama took office in January, CNN has seen its ratings drop. And one reason has to do with Campbell Brown. The host of "No Bias, No Bull" been on maternity leave for the past month, and in her absence, the show with substitute host Roland Martin has nose-dived. Sources say he has complained the network doesn't promote him enough or book him high-profile guests.

But the biggest disappointment has been the cable channel's big, silver-haired hope, Anderson Cooper.

The former host of "Celebrity Mole" should be happy he signed a multimillion-dollar, multiyear contract with CNN last year during the presidential race, when ratings were at an all-time high. If his contract were up now, Cooper would probably have to settle for far less.

The ratings have plunged for his show, "Anderson Cooper 360," since Obama's inauguration, and the drop in May has been steeper, especially in the coveted 25-54 demographic, where he's down nearly 30 percent from the previous month, averaging less than 250,000 demo viewers.

Tuesday night, Cooper raked in only 615,000 viewers overall. But it wasn't his slowest night ever -- that was May 8, when he clocked in a lousy 499,000 viewers.

A rep for Cooper wouldn't discuss May numbers but said, "Year to date, 'AC360' is having its second-best performance ever with an average of 1.161 million overall viewers and 369,000 in the target demographic. It has an impressive 51 percent advantage over MSNBC in total viewers and a 41 percent lead over MSNBC in the 25-54 demographic."

But insiders say top brass is questioning the CNN strategy of focusing so narrowly on Cooper in all their promos. "They've turned it into the Anderson Cooper network, and it's not working," said one source.

Here's CNN czar Jon Klein crowing about CNN's 2008 "achievements": "...Winning the year at 10PM is remarkable. When you look three years ago, nobody thought that would be possible, when we first launched Anderson at 10. And he has created America's national newscast. That's what it is. It's the news of the day. It's in-depth analysis -- smart people having interesting conversations about the news. And nobody thought that was possible in cable. The presumption had been that the only way to win in cable is to do sensationalism or over-the-top partisan opinion. We have proven otherwise at 10 PM."

Here's Klein in November 2005 - peering into his crystal ball to 2010: "There won’t be anchors. There won’t be people introducing the stories. Consumers won’t have the time or the need for that. They’ll just be getting the news they want, when they want it, in whatever form they want it.”

Isn't this the same guy who pimped Cooper as the news anchor of the future?

Bill Maher Sh*ts Where He Eats

There's a reason they're called knee-jerk liberals. Comedian Bill Maher whines that liberal audiences are screwing up his comedy routines by not laughing at Obama jokes.

Bill to Howard Kurtz on CNN's Reliable Sources: "It's always that limousine liberal crowd that just has their finger on the politically correct button. You know, they're just ready to -- ooh. Yeah. That's what bugs me the most about liberals is that they just -- they object before they even know what they're objecting to.

KURTZ: "Aren't these your people, Bill?"

MAHER: "No, not when they do that. I'm much more of a -- you know, I'm a free speech person."



h/t NewsBusters

Colin Powell: Party Animal

Colin Powell's cheap shot: pronounces Rush Limbaugh "Limbo" as in Limbo Rock or "in limbo" in refusing to submit to Limbaugh's Republican Party litmus test:

Caption This!

Cryptome's caption: Don't ask, don't tell: ANNAPOLIS, MD - MAY 22: A Marine commissioned officer sticks his tongue out after he received his diploma during the annual Naval Academy Graduation and Commissioning Ceremony at the Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium May 22, 2009 in Annapolis, Maryland. President Barack Obama delivered the commencement address to the 1036 graduates of the class of 2009.

"Gene Simmons ain't got nuthin' on me!"

Last Call For Truth: NYT Names Dowd's Poison

"Roughed up on the Internet." NYT omsbudsman Clark Hoyt on columnist Maureen Dowd's lame excuse for lifting a liberal blogger's line: Last Sunday, Dowd’s column on Dick Cheney and torture picked up a paragraph, with one minor word change, from Josh Marshall at Talking Points Memo, without identifying the source. Another blogger noticed, and the Internet was soon aflame with charges of plagiarism. Dowd said she had not read Marshall’s Web post, but was talking with a friend who suggested the wording without telling her where it came from. An attribution was added to the column online, and The Times ran a correction the next day.Her explanation was unconvincing to some. How could a friend — whom Dowd has not identified — repeat verbatim a 42-word paragraph? I heard from readers demanding that Dowd be fired.Dowd told me the passage in question was part of an e-mail conversation with her friend. She noted that she had credited two other bloggers for other information in the column, so there was no reason to intentionally slight Marshall. Marshall posted his view: “We’re too quick to pull the trigger with charges of plagiarism.” He said he didn’t think Dowd acted intentionally, and the correction was “pretty much the end of it.”I do not think Dowd plagiarized, but I also do not think what she did was right.

Andrew Rosenthal, the editorial page editor, said journalists collaborate and take feeds from each other all the time. That is true with news articles, but readers have a right to expect that even if an opinion columnist like Dowd tosses around ideas with a friend, her column will be her own words. If the words are not hers, she must give credit.

Bullshit. The NYT is circling the wagons...

If He Were A Twee...

"You know what is funny about Barbara Walters screwing Edward Brooke. It's not that he's black, but he was a Republican! And, her screwing Fidel? That almost qualifies as bestiality. Babs' father owned the Copa in NYC. Here's the difficult thing to believe: she was a comedy writer for Jack Paar on the Tonight Show." - Vinney, Chickaboomer's head comedy writer

Gorilla Warfare

A Wisconsin TV station runs a 2:24 piece on a fake gorilla trying to steal a four-foot fake banana from convenience store banana displays. What? No female banana-wielding reporter involvement?

Is the convenience store a client of the TV station? Just asking...



h/t Vinney, Chickaboomer's head joke writer

Bill Clinton's Basic Instinct: Romancing The Stone!

While you're barbecuing prime meat this holiday weekend, think of Hillary's grilling of Bill after he returns from Cannes where the former prez has kicked Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt out of their usual hotel.

Bill's chowing down on some prime meat of his own: Sharon Stone. The pair hosted an AIDS dinner last night.

Is Glenn Beck Just Another Keith Olbermann?

Once upon a time there was a well-defined line between journalistic credibility and integrity, and shameless promotion masked as righteous, misdirected outrage.

In emulating the bizarre behavior of MSNBC's resident paranoid control freak Keith Olbermann, Fox News Glenn Beck has lost my respect by demanding that Barbara Walters and "The View" Medusas apologize for calling him a liar when he appeared on the bitchfest Wednesday. Listen to Glenn's radio rant.

Glenn, take June off and check into an alcohol rehab for a tune-up. Even terminall flawed Larry King is weighing in. Trust me. This is not the sort of buzz Beck and Fox want.

The Daily Beast's salivating gossipista Lloyd Grove (grovel@) flitted among the stellar crowd at Larry's Manhattan book party Thursday night: Larry was talking to Barbara about overwrought Fox News personality Glenn Beck’s uncomfortable appearance on The View earlier in the day. “Did you hear that he didn’t do his show today? They said he had a cold?” Barbara said happily.“Glenn Beck—that don’t impress me,” Larry scoffed. “You know what Jackie Gleason told me once? He said, ‘I can put a young couple having intercourse on the air—and I’ll win the night.’ See what I mean?”

Fourth place CNN keeps a septuagenarian conductor of nightly flatulence symphonies who is frozen in the Borscht Belt era on the air every night and he's losing the night - to upstart Rachel Maddow.

Related: "Glenn Beck Gangbanged By Burning Bushes"

Brad Pitt's Interview With The Vampire

Rewind of the Week! Ann Curry's Canned Heat in Cannes. Ann Boldly Goes Where No Man Has Gone Before (except maybe George Clooney or Tom Cruise).

If NBC's Ann Curry could've sucked every drop of body fluids out of Brad Pitt's human form she would've right on camera in front of God and Everyone.

Shameless flirt Curry had a 7:27 orgasm (wireless mike and wireless vibrating love eggs) that really got rolling 4:18. Pitt was more than eager to pimp his new movie "Inglourius Bastards" but stiffened (not where Ann fantasized after stroking his face) when it got personal with a Pitt Shit Fit. Matt Lauer throws it to Curry with "Ann, take it away."



To be fair Ann gets a bum rap (not from Pitt) in the edited version:

Parsons' Fable

Time-Warner ex-chairman Dick Parsons lives up to his first name. The 61-year-old married father of three finally admits to a love child with a beautiful young model half his age.

Parsons is now Citigroup's board chairman. The new dad is setting up a trust fund for his daughter born last August.

Barbara Walters: Testy Testimony

The star fuckers were out en force as near-octogenarian Barbara Walters displayed a range of emotions in a Manhattan courtroom testifying on behalf of her dead friend Brooke Astor.

Babs got special treatment. The prosecutor didn't ask her age. We found out her middle name is Jill, and her first job was as a receptionist before she clawed her way to the top. There's Babs in a vintage Bill Blass suit. [photo: Marc Hermann]

The legendary newswoman's claws were out where she tried to grab a reporter's notebook outside the courtroom.

Former Washington Powerhunk Henry Kissinger (didn't Babs sleep with him back in the day?) also testified for the dead NY society doyenne. Kissinger came THISCLOSE to kissing cement after he tripped on the courthouse stairs.

Barbara was in a better mood later at Larry King's book party for his latest ghost-written tome "My Remarkable Journey" - laughing at Larry joking about his 40ish wife dying before he does.

Wanda Fond of TV News Mastermind

Page Six: Shelley Ross -- who had stormy stints at ABC and CBS -- seems to have nine lives and is said to be the favorite pick for executive producer of "The Wanda Sykes Show."

Shelley's acknowledged mantra: "Love thy enemy." She was fired from the CBS "Early Show" after less than a year. "Good Morning America" staffers swore Ross was really Josef Stalin reincarnated.

Memo to Wanda: Suicide Shelley was the 20th 9/11 terrorist - not Rush Limbaugh.

TV Networks: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Chickaboomer's Golden Toad award goes to: TV broadcast networks ending the season down 16%. "Nobody watches TV anymore... can't they get it? TV is soooo sick!" -Disgusted Viewer

Dear Disgusted: Hang on another five years and TV will be as extinct as the Golden Toad and Dodo Bird.

The White House press corps is giving Obama the bird behind his back for shutting out the press pools and shooting events using his own network with a logo - OTV!

Ah, but OTV is already taken. In Romania. And man, you gotta see what THAT OTV is broadcasting in "OTV Kills Obama."

Remember when NBC unveiled a new logo with much fanfare in 1975 after spending millions on a design only to find Nebraska public TV conjured the same thing for free? They sued. NBC kept its expensive logo by bribing Nebraska ETV with $800,000 in new equipment and $55,000 for a new logo design.

Three years later NBC dumped the trapezoid N...

CNBC: Bang A Dong

CNBC The Gong Show? And how about a paper bag over Jim Cramer's head?

Obama & Dick Cheney: Blinkmanship

"My single most important responsibility as President is to keep the American people safe. That is the first thing that I think about when I wake up in the morning. It is the last thing that I think about when I go to sleep at night." - Barack Obama sounding like the Voice Of God in an artfully chosen echo chamber - the cavernous lobby of National Archives.

It was back-to-back live spin from Obama and former veep Dick Cheney on terrorists, torture, and closing Guantanamo Bay.

Karl Rove on how Obama's campaign promises are coming back to haunt him.

GE: Obamanation At Work

Now that GE CEO Jeffrey"The Cute One" Immelt is imagining himself an economics expert after his appointment to Obama's economic advisory panel, he's suddenly using his own TV networks to peddle the Obama line. To wit, Immelt's appearance yesterday on CNBC's "Squawk Box" warbling WH talking points on global warming and regulating carbon emissions.

Immelt should be more concerned with curbing toxic emmissions from GE's juvenile deliquents NBC, MSNBC, and CNBC. Are Immelt and the less-cute NBC prez Jeffrey Zucker still flying commercial these days or are they back to polluting the air on corporate jets?



As one of the biggest military defense contracting players GE stands to gain lucrative defense contracts from the Obama Pentagon. It's all so corrupt...

Glenn Beck Gangbanged By Burning Bushes

"Glenn Beck's sad end. Pecked to death, carcass consumed, nothing left but the veneers from his teeth, in only six minutes, by the hosts of 'The View.' - Keith Olbermann.

Memo to Glenn Beck after "The View" maneaters mangled your conservative tongue in what I'd characterize as an ill-advised appearance on the ABC daytime bitchfest Tuesday. Here's how you could've shut up Barbara Walters.

Glenn, you should've asked Barbara about her reported fling with Fidel Castro and her penchant for fucking sources like former Massachusetts married black senator Ed Brooke. Glenn to Barbara: "Is it true that once you go black you never go back?"

I don't know how many years of sobriety you have under your belt, Glenn, or whether you're still in active recovery, but as a FOB I sense that you left your Gardol Shield at home and didn't pray before sitting down with those witches who ambushed you for your account of an encounter with the ladies on an Amtrak train to DC for the White House Correspondents' Dinner.


Beck could've ended the girly gangbang by simply throwing up his hands in surrender. "Yeah, you're right. I'm a lying sack of shit." Glenn's second mistake was calling into his own Fox News show with substitute host Andrew Napolitano claiming (stuffed up nose and all) that he had the flu and wasn't at the top of his game. Lame, Glenn, Lame. n A.A. you're told to question your motivation. What was your motivation, Glenn? Ego? Recall the words of former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli: "Never complain. Never explain." What were your expectations before going on? Certainly not a Jeffersonian dialogue. I'm disappointed in you:

Jeff Zucker: Grin Reaper

The Devil's Advocate NBC reportedly coughed up $5 mil for Farrah Fawcett's ghoulish video death trip. The Grim Reaper captured 8.9 mil souls.

Well worth the payout to the dying Fawcett.

Rachel Maddow: Diesel Dyke Out Of Gas?

What do Rachel Maddow's ratings and lesbian sex have in common? Dive.

Danny Shea Huff Post: "Friday's (May 15) program drew just 763,000 total viewers, setting a new series low. Friday's program also drew Maddow's smallest Adults 25-54 audience ever, averaging just 163,000 demo viewers. Maddow did, however, beat Larry King on Friday, who averaged just 645,000 total viewers."

Rachel's recent numbers are a far cry from her October high.

Any speculation as to why Rachel's going down faster than Rosie O'Donnell?

Anderson Cooper: Such A Silly Boy!

CNN's Anderson Cooper gives a rather halting defense to his controversial teabagging on-air riff where he observed "It's hard to talk when you're teabagging." Somebody shot this cell phone vid.

Cooper blames talking head David Gergen for setting him up. Anderson could've gagged himself.

Gloria Vanderbilt's swishy silly son may find himself gagged by CNN if his ratings continue to suck big time.

Friday May 15 Cooper delivered by far his lowest P2+ ratings this year with 499,000 total viewers (and his 2nd lowest demo with 168,000 viewers 25-54) according to Nielsen Media Research. (He had his 6th lowest post-inauguration last night with 706,000.)

Cooper was averaging the 1.4 million viewers in January and has been slipping every month since… currently averaging around 857,000 (May to date 5/18) And it’s not just Cooper who’s going down… CNN finished fourth 4 out of 5 times last week… and 4th again last night. CNN has placed fourth 43% of the time so far this year in weekday prime.

Bill's Fanny Vice

Just-named-yesterday U.N. Special Envoy to Haiti Bill Clinton was behaving rather undiplomatically over the weekend in Vienna where it's reported he "groped" "The Nanny" star Fran Drescher.

BFD. I don't see the prob here. He's just taking a load off nanny's fanny...

The buzz is Bill better behave himself in his new gig. A leopard doesn't change his spots. There are lots of hot chicks in the Dominican Republic.