Come Blow Your Horn

To the Horny Old Guys Who Read Chickaboomer: Let's start a Twitter page...

The anonymous commenter ripping me a new one for my tongue-in-cheek Marty For MSNBC thing has the notion - to use one of Obama's favorite words - that only "a dozen or so old horny guys" frequent Chickaboomer.

What say you?

Washington's Arms Race

Thirty years ago congressional wives were advised to NEVER wear sleeveless day dresses to the White House.

In 1969 Ted Kennedy's then-wife Joan was on the receiving end of Pat Nixon's evil eye when she wore a minidress to the WH.

This millenium conservative blowhard Ann Coulter got fashion demerits for her sleeveless cocktail dress interview attire.

Washington used to be "Hollywood for the ugly." - P.J. O'Rourke. In 2005 etiquette czarina Letitia Baldridge barked to TIME mag: "Women here cannot be chic."

You can be anything you wanna be in Scamelot. Arms are the new legs. And Michelle Obama's the "coolest" First Lady ever. So sayeth CNN advising women "How To Get Michelle Obama's Toned Arms" :



In these dire economic times it is hard to fathom why Obama's White House social secretary was sitting next to Vogue editrix Anna "Nuclear Winter" Wintour at NY's Fashion Week ogling the pricey duds. Byron York "Michelle Obama's High Fashion In Hard Times" DC Examiner: "Desiree was in New York on a fact-finding mission. She's acting as a cultural liaison for the White House; she's researching fashion and music."

Sure...

Twit Or Get Off The Pot

NYT TV critic Alessandra Stanley: Left alone in a cage with a mountain of cocaine, a lab rat will gorge itself to death. Caught up in a housing bubble, bankers will keep selling mortgage-backed securities — and amassing bonuses — until credit markets seize, companies collapse, and millions of investors lose their jobs and homes.

And news anchors and television personalities who have their own shows, Web sites, blogs and pages on Facebook.com and MySpace.com will send Twitter messages until the last follower falls into a coma. The Internet has revolutionized society by giving anyone an instant and unfiltered outlet for self-expression. But it has also turned journalism into a year-round, ever-updated “Dear Friends and Family” Christmas newsletter.

But Mr. Gregory also seems to view Twitter as a diary for his inner musings: “It’s 830. Rehearsal done. Guests should arrive anytime now. This is a good time for me to go thru my q’s one last time. Maybe a bagel b4 air.” David Shuster, the host of “1600 Pennsylvania Avenue” on MSNBC, is so eager to interact with potential viewers that he contacted a fictional character who had been created to monitor Twitter anonymously. “Hi, maria troffa (matroffa), David Shuster (Shuster1600) has requested to follow your updates on Twitter!” (There are no updates: that Maria Troffa doesn’t exist.)

Those who say Twitter is a harmless pastime, which skeptics are free to ignore, are ignoring the corrosive secondary effects. We already live in an era of me-first journalism, autobiographical blogs and first-person reportage. Even daytime cable news is clotted with Lou Dobbsian anchors who ooze self-regard and intemperate opinion.

On-air meltdowns are the new scoops. The CNBC correspondent Rick Santelli, a former trader, delivered a rant last week on the floor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange about the Obama administration’s mortgage bailout proposal. Nobody at his network seemed concerned that Mr. Santelli had exceeded the bounds of news reporting. Instead, he was propped up by constant replays on CNBC and rival networks as a populist hero. It’s all too likely that he will be rewarded with his own show someday.

There are always some people who, given the chance, will respond to anything, even nothing.

I propose a companion Twitter dedicated to the memory of CNN's Larry King. "What are you wearing?" instead of "What are you doing?"

And That's The Way It Is...

Tim Arango NYT "Broadcast TV Faces Struggle To Stay Viable": For decades, the big three, now big four, networks all had the same game plan: spend many millions to develop and produce scripted shows aimed at a mass audience and national advertisers, with a shelf life of years or decades as reruns in syndication. But that model, based on attracting enough ad dollars to cover the costs of shows like “Lost” and “ER,” no longer appears viable. Network dramas now cost about $3 million an hour. The future for the networks, it seems, is more low-cost reality shows, more news and talk, and a greater effort to find new revenue streams, whether they be from receiving subscriber fees as cable channels do, or becoming cable networks themselves, an idea that has gained currency.

Citizen Kimmel: "Rosebud"

Jimmy Kimmel crawls under his desk as actress Calista Flockhart sets up her "clit."

CNN: Send In The Clowns

My, how times have changed! Now CNN is in the same boat as MSNBC back in 1996 when the network was flailing for a format. MSNBC's ship didn't come in until 2003 when Keith Olbermann swooped in and singlehandedly defined MSNBC's mission.

CNN needs Howard Beale. Bad.

Jeff Bercovici Portfolio: "Why CNN Could Use Some 'Impotent Rage'': Is CNN destined to wind up the No. 3 cable news network? It may be premature to ask that, but you have to wonder after the release of February ratings numbers that show MSNBC gaining fast from behind while Fox News continues to surge out ahead. Both of those networks, of course, make abundant use in prime time of a weapon that CNN refuses to wield: partisan opinion. At 8 p.m., Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann crush Campbell Brown's buzzy but weird experiment in commentary without ideology, No Bias, No Bull. In the 9 o'clock hour, Rachel Maddow appears to be on a course to overtake Larry King in a matter of months, if not weeks, a development that will surely hasten his already-overdue retirement. Only at 10, where MSNBC rebroadcasts Countdown, does CNN seem secure at No. 2 -- and that could evaporate if MSNBC makes good on a threat to develop a new show for the slot. Discussing the February ratings with AP, MSNBC president Phil Griffin suggested that it's CNN's lack of hosts with partisan points of view that's holding it back. "Those of us who have strong personalities in prime time are going to do better at this," he said, adding, "I think CNN is going to have some big decisions to make."In fact, those decisions were made long ago, and it's unclear whether CNN could reconsider them even if it wanted to now that MSNBC has taken up the positioning -- the liberal answer to Fox News -- that CNN has so strenuously avoided for years. All that remains is for CNN to hype its centrism -- in that same AP story, network president Jon Klein boasts that "we have made our name by separating ourselves out from the predictable, impotent rage of the partisan extremes" -- and hope it's enough of a draw to prevent a slide to No. 3.

Wolff In Creep's Clothing

Who would bang trout lips Michael Wolff? The hypocritical widely panned for factual f-ups Rupert Murdoch tome author who gets off big time on married Rupe's courting of now-wife Wendi Deng had his own dick where it didn't belong.

City File: The married, 55-year-old author carried on a lengthy affair with a 28-year-old writer, helped her land a job at Vanity Fair, and eventually hired her to work on his website Newser.com. According to our sources, the woman in question, Victoria Floethe, was introduced to the Vanity Fair columnist by a friend of Wolff's, a writer who happened to be having an affair with Floethe himself at the time. This man, who is also married and who we'll call "Mark," had originally reached out to Wolff to see if he might be help Floethe find a job. Wolff certainly helped Floethe land a job—she joined Vanity Fair's research department—although much to Mark's chagrin, Wolff soon started dating Floethe himself. (Contacted by phone, Mark declined to comment, refusing to confirm or deny the story on the events in question.)Just how much anyone at Vanity Fair knew about Wolff's relationship with Floethe is unclear.

Sanjay Ixnay?

Al Kamen Wash Post: It's been seven weeks since we noted that neurosurgeon and CNN medical reporter Sanjay Gupta, one of People Magazine's Sexiest Men for 2003, was in line to be nominated as surgeon general. But then time passed and former Senate majority leader Thomas A. Daschle's nomination to run the Department of Health and Human Services blew up, much to Gupta's dismay. Buzz is that he's now rethinking whether the job is as attractive as it had appeared. The answer may be linked to the future of the proposed White House Office of Health Reform, which Daschle was also to head, and what part Gupta will play on the new team.

Alexis Glick: Basketball Jones

Obama: Have balls, will travel. Fox Biz babe Alexis Glick is still itching to palm your balls.

Senate Spikes Fairness Doctrine

The Hill: Conservatives fear that Democrats are pursuing a “back door” approach to cracking down on Clear Channel Communications, the media conglomerate that airs "The Rush Limbaugh Show," a favorite among conservatives. The Senate voted along party lines Thursday to adopt an amendment sponsored by Sen. Dick Durbin (Ill.), the second-ranking Democrat in the chamber, that directs the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to “promote diversity in communication media ownership and to ensure that broadcast station licenses are used in the public interest.”

The measure passed 57-41 without a single Republican vote. Durbin said his proposal would encourage more women and minorities to apply for radio and TV ownership. But Sen. Jim DeMint (S.C.), chairman of the conservative Senate Republican Steering Committee, charged the proposal would lead to regulatory pressure on Clear Channel, which owns and operates more than 1,200 radio stations in the United States. The vote came minutes before the Senate voted overwhelmingly to quash the Fairness Doctrine, a regulation the FCC enforced until the mid-1980s that required radio and TV stations to give equal air time to conservative and liberal viewpoints. Democrats have tried several times to revive the Fairness Doctrine, which critics argue would decimate conservative talk radio. Those efforts failed because of vetoes by former Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush.President Obama has made clear that he does not intend to reinstate the doctrine. But Republicans aren’t convinced that Democrats have given up on loosening conservatives' grip on talk radio. “Sen. Durbin’s amendment exposed Democrat intentions to impose radio censorship through the back door using vague regulations dealing with media ownership,” said DeMint. Sen. John Thune (S.D.), vice chairman of the Senate Republican Conference, said, “I am troubled that as we killed the ‘Fairness Doctrine,’ Senator Durbin’s amendment brought to life a new threat to talk radio and other arenas of free speech.”Aides to DeMint said the proposal was an attempt to “muzzle successful syndicated radio program” such as Limbaugh. “They’re trying to break up Clear Channel and other successful syndicated radio programs,” said Wesley Denton, a spokesman for DeMint. Durbin dismissed the charge.“To argue what I am putting here is a dramatic change in the law, is going to somehow muzzle Rush Limbaugh — that’s not the case,” said Durbin during a floor debate with DeMint.“No one is suggesting that the law for the Federal Communications Commission says that you can give this license to a Republican and this one to a Democrat and this one to a liberal and this one to a conservative.“When we talk about diversity in media ownership it relates primarily to gender, race and other characteristics of that nature,” Durbin said. The Senate voted to append Durbin’s proposal to the District of Columbia Voting Rights Act, which passed the Senate on Thursday afternoon. Minutes after adopting Durbin’s amendment, the Senate voted 87-11 to adopt an amendment sponsored by DeMint that would prevent the FCC from reinstating the Fairness Doctrine. Republicans have introduced companion legislation in the House but Democrats in that chamber are not expected to allow a vote on the bill. Conservatives fear that forcing stations to make equal time for liberal talk radio would slash profits and pressure radio executives to scale back on conservative programming to avoid escalating costs and interference from government regulators. Opponents of the Fairness Doctrine argue that liberal talk radio has not proven popular or profitable. For example, Air America, liberals’ answer to “The Rush Limbaugh Show,” filed for bankruptcy in October 2006.The FCC discarded the policy in 1985 after deciding that it restricted journalistic freedom and “actually inhibit[ed] the presentation of controversial issues of public importance to the detriment of the public and in degradation of the editorial prerogative of broadcast journalists,” according to a Congressional Research Service report.

CNN: The Blind Leading The Blind

CNN does a piece on Obama and Stevie Wonder and uses old video of Obama and Stevland (his real name) with the controversial Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

Some are making a big deal out of CNN anchoress Kyra Phillips interviewing blind Stevie and telling him to "come back and see us again." (6:30 in). I'm more interested in the use of the Rev. Wright video:

Seinfeld: Pussy Whipped

NYP "Matri-Money": It only took Jerry Seinfeld 11 years to come up with another idea for a TV show. Seinfeld said yesterday he was returning to TV with a new comedy-reality series called "The Marriage Ref." The show - due to premiere next fall on NBC - will put cameras on real-life, troubled couples every week.

Well, "He" is not returning to TV. Somebody else will play the marriage ref. Seinfeld is EP. And "Marriage Ref" is only a "working title."

NBC's entertainment co-czar Ben Silverman - who is wedded to a bong - heralded the triumphant return of Seinfeld.

NBC pimp, er press release quoting Jerry: "This is not a therapy show, it's a comedy show. After nine years of marriage I have discovered that the comedic potential of this subject is quite rich."

The lady producer: "It will be revealing, edgy, controversial and very, very funny. Picture well-known people weighing in on a couple's relationship issues -- and deciding who is right and who is wrong -- right on the spot, like a referee."

Mr. Seinfeld is thrilled to partner with Ms. Rakieten on "The Marriage Ref." Rakieten joined "The Oprah Winfrey Show" as a producer at its inception in 1986, and was a major force in creating the most dominant program in daytime history.

"NBC has a long and enormously successful relationship with Jerry and this great new concept reflects his incredible and unique point of view," said Silverman. "Viewers will love this highly relatable new comedy."

Added Paul Telegdy, Executive Vice President, Alternative Programming, NBC and Universal Media Studios, "While 'Seinfeld' was a hilarious look at single life, this new show will focus on the humor of relationships and marriage. It's a great fit with the slate of alternative comedy we are building at NBC."

Alternative comedy? Will the new reality show showcase married gay couples?

Wash Post TV critic Lisa de Moraes was underwhelmed: Yes, Jerry Seinfeld -- the man who famously met, wooed and won his wife right after she returned to Manhattan from her honeymoon with her new husband, Eric Nederlander -- has created a TV series in which comics, sports figures and opinionated celebrities (which sounds like NBC-speak for Donald Trump) will advise average-Joe couples in the throes of a "classic marital dispute." Back in 1998, when the press was weighing in on Seinfeld's relationship with the then Mrs. Eric Nederlander, the comic was buttonholed one day by a New York Post reporter and told that reporter, "You know, I'm barely interested in my own life -- I don't know how you could be interested in it." When the reporter persisted, asking Seinfeld about what role he might be playing in the dissolution of the four-month marriage of Nederlander and Jessica Sklar, Seinfeld responded by calling the reporter "a poor human being." "Could you imagine people asking about their relationship, like it's high school. It's so sad."

I don't want to watch someone else's family feud. In marriage all fights boil down to two things: sex and money.

How about calling the show "Marital Aid?"

Or why not just enlist Stevie Wonder to host? Michelle Obama claims if it weren't for Stevie she never would've married Barack.

Fox Continues To Outdistance Rival Cable Newshounds

Brian Stelter NYT: The first weeks of the Obama presidency were remarkably popular ones for the Fox News Channel.Fox News ranked No. 3 among all cable networks in prime time for the month of February, according to Nielsen Media Research. The network averaged 2.4 million viewers in prime time, up 28 percent from the same month last year. The February ratings, released this week, represented a stark widening of the gap between Fox News and the nation’s other cable news channels. At times last year, heightened interest in the presidential election placed Fox News and CNN in stiff competition for viewers, especially those viewers in the 25- to 54-year-old demographic. (The networks sell much of their advertising time using ratings for that demographic.) Also last year, the historically third-place MSNBC became more competitive than ever before.Now, as the Nielsen ratings show, Fox is widening its lead. Among viewers ages 25 to 54, Fox averaged 328,000 viewers at any given time in February, up 24 percent from the same month in 2008. CNN averaged 225,000 viewers in that demographic, down 14 percent. MSNBC averaged 177,000 viewers, up 7 percent.

Keep sniffing, MSNBC & CNN...

Ailes: Sun Tzu Reincarnated

Fox News boss Roger Ailes "would kill anybody. He's the Dick Cheney of News Corp."

Obama: Living Large

52 mil tuned into Obama's on-air communique.

Letter to the editor writer Henry Lowenstein gushes to the NYT: "I heard in one short hour Mr. Obama give all Americans three vitally important things, something that our former president could not do in eight years: hope for their future, confidence in their government, and a sense that he really does “get it.” I have not felt this positive about government in a decade."

Henry, your ancestors may have escaped Stalin's Russia. Maybe Nazi Germany. Obama gets it, all right. And you're going to get it in the wallet as Obama marches toward a socialist regime in the good old U. S. of A.

Obama's massive big government budget boasts a $634 bil "downpayment" on universal health care. Where is the money coming from? Rich taxpayers. New taxes on the wealthy.

The prez vowed to share the wealth during the campaign, and by God, he's wasting no time.

Sen. Chuck "I'd Walk A Mile For A Camera" Schumer: "It's a large agenda, but the American people wanted large change, and it was really a large election."

NYDN: "The biggest federal budget proposal in history."

In Rehr Form

B&C: The National Association of Broadcasters wrote President Barack Obama Tuesday thanking him for reiterating his opposition to the reinstatement of the fairness doctrine."On behalf of [NAB], I am writing to express our gratitude to you for the Feb. 18 statement," wrote NAB President David Rehr. "At a time when the challenges that face our country require vigorous debate and discussion, our nation's TV and radio broadcasters provide a rich diversity of viewpoints from all sides of the political spectrum," said Rehr. "Any attempts to re-impose the Fairness Doctrine would harm, not help, this diversity by discouraging the robust exchange of ideas and opinions."That came after a statement from the White House last week that the president did not support the doctrine's return.During the campaign, candidate Obama twice indicated to B&C through an aide that he was not a fan of the doctrine and that he considered the debate "a distraction from the conversation we should be having about opening up the airwaves and modern communications to as many diverse viewpoints as possible." But after several high-profile Democrats indicated their support for its return in some form, and a top Obama aide declined comment saying that issues would be left to the President and presumptive FCC chairman nominee Julius Genachowski to discuss the White House decided to weigh in.

Rehr just wants to get on record before Obama's broadcast regulatory semantics kick in.

Marty For MSNBC

Today I officially announce I'm in the running to take over MSNBC's 10pm anchor slot. News czar Phil Griffin reportedly wants the host selection process to be "organic" - whatever the fuck that means.

Maybe organic is a NYT misprint. Orgasmic seems more like it.

I'm both. But unlike some on-air talent, I don't have rolling oral orgasms.

If some guy I've never heard of: David Sirota - he of frequent MSNBC talking head - can launch an unabashed campaign marshaling his progressive populist fans to bombard MSNBC brass with emails et al, so can I.

My qualifications (not necessarily in order of importance):

*Former TV news/network radio anchor
*M.A. journalism and communications
*Big boobs
*Big attitude

*Big mouth

*Role model: Edward R. Murrow

*Goalie on junior high field hockey team

*Obsessive-compulsive

*Watermelon seed spitting champion

*No fear-driven ego

*Uncanny ability to con luxury car dealers

[1998 MSNBC Marty as talking head. Ugly ass photo. Fortunately I'm aging like Benjamin Button.]

Chris Matthews: Trolling For Trouble

So it was Chris Matthews who spouted "Oh God!" on MSNBC when Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal bounded out to the microphone to deliver the Repub Obama address rebuttal. Just this week he called congressional Republicans "trolls under the bridge."

Inside Cable News (ICN) has a great piece on the partisan blowhard's latest gaffe. There's no point in pointing out the bias anymore. Nothing will change. It is what it is.

Perhaps Matthews was still in the throes of a rolling Obama orgasm and the "Oh God!" was merely an expression of ecstasy...



You may recall the 1977 Carl Reiner movie "Oh God" with George Burns as God and John Denver as his unwiting acolyte. God: "You can love each other, cherish and nurture each other or you can kill each other. Incidentally, "kill" is the word. It's not "waste." If I had wanted "waste" I would have writen "thou shalt not waste." You're doing some very funnny things with words. You're also turning the sky into mud. I look down, I can't believe the filth. Using the rivers for toilets, poisoning my fishes. You want a miracle? *You* make a fish from scratch. You can't. You think only God can make a tree? Try coming up with a mackeral. And when the last one's gone, that'll be that. Eighty-six on the fish, goodbye sky, so long world, over and out.

Eighty-six on the vast wasteland known as MSNBC...

Shadies Who Lunch

Wash Post 12:30p Tuesday: The television news anchors sit down to lunch with Obama at the White House, continuing a long-standing tradition. Obama says "Slumdog Millionaire," the India-based film that cleaned up at the Oscars, reminds him of the years he spent in Indonesia. In another revelation, the president discloses that he has napped briefly on the Oval Office sofa.They dine in the family dining room over lobster bisque with beignets, seared Virginia bass with leeks and potatoes, pound cake with fruit compote and lemon sorbet.

The above traditional State Of The Union lunch with fawning TV talking heads is supposed to be on background. Meaning the news anchors can't use anything the prez says.

It was more like like Seared Virginia Bass With Leaks... The anchors blabbed anyway. Oooh, Brian Williams got to sit NEXT TO THE PRESIDENT he writes in his blog. Did Bri get a thrill up his leg?

A breathless Katie Couric on her blog: "The White House, he feels, is a very nice place to live, especially because he can have dinner almost every night with his family. The Obamas play a game called roses and thorns, where the girls talk about the good things that happened to them that day and the bad things – a device that gets them to "open up." (I need to try that tactic at my dinner table!) One night, Malia, after hearing about some of her father's challenges, remarked that he had a "very thorny job!" Meanwhile, all the baubles – perks like Camp David, helicopters, etc. – still make it hard to live in a bubble, it seems, because the President can’t go to the corner drugstore, run on the National Mall, or sit in a diner and soak in the mood or overhear conversations. He said he wishes he could do the job anonymously. At that point, his senior adviser said: “Then you’d be Dick Cheney." That got a big laugh."

I'll bet. Obama and his henchmen are mastering that roses and thorns game with Congress.

What's worse? Breaking bread with Obama or caving to the background thing? Michael Calderone Politico

Rupert Murdoch: The Reader

Variety: "Rupert Murdoch's counterintuitive quest to invest in print media helped drive away longtime lieutenant Peter Chernin. And now that Chernin can't intercede, does Murdoch want to follow News Corp.'s $5 billion buyout of Dow Jones by gobbling up the struggling New York Times Co.? The answer appears to be yes, as impossible as present economic conditions make it for most deals of any kind to get done. What's more, incredulous News Corp. insiders say Murdoch's love of print media is so fervent that he's also been talking about a play for the Los Angeles Times, which could make easier prey for several reasons..."

Disgraced Rupert biographer Michael Wolff "Rupert Makes His Crazy Last Stand": "Well, Rupert has guts. With the share price of News Corp. at its lowest level in years, Rupert Murdoch has allowed Peter Chernin, the company’s No. 2, the manager of its entertainment divisions, which are the company’s biggest revenue streams, and a Wall Street favorite, to walk away.I wrote the other day that Chernin would probably stay on, that Murdoch, cowed like everyone else by the financial crisis and an unforgiving market, would give his most important executive what he wanted. I was wrong, as so many people have been, for doubting the old man.The contract issue was straightforward: Chernin wanted Murdoch’s word that if Murdoch departed (carried out or otherwise), Chernin would get his job. That’s the deal they struck four years ago when Chernin’s contract was renewed.But now Murdoch, at 78, wants to know that if he goes, one of his children—likely his son James—will take over.So it’s an actuarial issue."

Wolff's Rupert book was full of inaccurate shit he threw against the wall to see if it would stick. After the tome came out, critics ripped Wolff a new asshole. Turns out Wolff ain't exactly the Oracle at Delphi...

Here's my take on Rupert if anyone gives a rat's ass: The media mogul could rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic and it would miraculously escape the iceberg...

Joe "Botox" Biden's Botchulisms

Joe Biden can't remember recovery.gov in an interview on CBS News "Early Show" this a.m.

Maggie Rodrieguez: "By the way, do you know the website?"

Biden: "You know, I'm embarrassed... I'm actually embarrassed."

Watch the vid

Biden's massive Botox (botulism) is seeping into his brain.

Andy Richter Controls The Universe

This is good news. Andy Richter returns to Conan. Richter will be Conan's Ed McMahon.

That means there will be one funny guy on Conan's new "Tonight" show...

Clemente Assumes The Position At Fox

Chernin Out. Clemente In.

Business Wire: Veteran ABC News television executive Michael Clemente has been named Senior Vice President of News for FOX News, announced Roger Ailes, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of the network. Clemente assumes the position immediately and will report directly to John Moody, Executive Vice President of News Editorial.

Clemente is a 1978 graduate of American University where I got my master's degree in journalism - School of Communication - 1980.

Hmmm. He's sort of cute...

CNN's Losing Viewers. Fox Still King.

Matea Gold LA Times: With gloomy economic news dominating the headlines, Fox News and MSNBC posted substantial audience increases in the last four weeks compared to the same period last year, while CNN shed a large share of its audience. Top-rated Fox News drew an average of 2.4 million viewers in prime time between Jan. 26 and Feb. 22, a spike of 28%, according to Nielsen Media Research data. CNN held onto second place with 1.2 million viewers but dropped 30% from last February, while MSNBC posted an average of 949,000 viewers, up 23%.Part of CNN’s audience fall-off can be traced to the three presidential primary debates the network hosted last February, including one that drew 8.3 million viewers, greatly boosting its average rating for the month. But CNN also saw a drop-off for some of its signature shows in the last four weeks, underscoring the network’s challenge in sustaining the big numbers it scored during the 2008 election. “Anderson Cooper 360” lost 9% of its viewers compared to last February, while “Lou Dobbs Tonight” was off by 15%.Meanwhile, its rivals enjoyed gains in the last month. Fox News host Glenn Beck’s new afternoon program doubled the viewership for the time period compared to last February. Bret Baier, who succeeded Brit Hume as the host of “Special Report” this year, has seen his show’s audience increase by 38%. And "Hannity," no long co-hosted by Alan Colmes, was up 38%.For its part, MNSBC posted its best February in history. “Countdown with Keith Olbermann” was up 32%, while “The Rachel Maddow Show” brought in 134% more viewers than the time period had last year. Still, Fox News programs dominated the ranking of the top 10 cable news shows, locking up every slot except seventh place, which was held by CNN’s “Larry King Live,” which gained 19% this month.

For Republicans, Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose

As expected SC Senator Jim DeMint plans to introduce an amendment today to the DC Voting Rights bill that has absolutely nothing to do with DC voting rights. DeMint's hoping to attach the Broadcaster Freedom Act barring the reinstatement of the Fairness Doctrine or reasonable facsimile thereof.


What are the odds?

Waste, Fraud, and Obtuse

Wash Post editorial: Even the political capital of the popular Mr. Obama is not unlimited. We hope he does not spread it so broadly that he is left without the means to extinguish the fires raging now.

NYT editorial: We can now only hope that Mr. Obama will use his 2010 budget proposal, which he unveils this week, to forcefully press his broader economic agenda.

Obama v reality: OBAMA: "I believe the nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it." THE FACTS: According to the Library of Congress, the inventor of the first true automobile was probably Germany's Karl Benz, who created the first auto powered by an internal combustion gasoline, in 1885 or 1886. Nobody disputes that Henry Ford created the first assembly line that made cars affordable.

Wash Post Obama address fact check

In his speech last night Obama claimed there were no "earmarks" in the stimulus bill. Semantics, my friends. Wait until you see the pork in his 2010 budget...

Monkey Business

Corrupt race-baiter Al Sharpton refuses to accept Rupert Murdoch Himself's apology over that NYP chimpanzee cartoon.

Weighty Katie

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. There's a lady House Speaker, black president, and oh yeah, that white guy Joe Biden.

What was Katie Couric thinking when she mused aloud about "diversity" at Obama's speech last night?

Watch the vid

I had a dream last night about Barack Obama. Obama insisted on taking a photo of my right boob encased in my burgundy La Perla Italian lace bra...

I had to bend down from the waist so he could surreptitiously snap it...

From MSNBC's Slips To God's Ear

Which MSNBC talking head uttered "Oh God" as Bobby Jindal approached the microphone at the Louisiana governor's mansion to deliver the Repub response to Obama's address? Commentators with no business anchoring political news events. Get the hook for these clowns.

MSNBC: Come clean. "Morning Joe" hasn't uttered a peep over this. Watch the vid and take a guess:



Related: Michael Calderone Politico

MSNBC had an annoying hospital heart monitor running on the bottom of the screen during Obama's speech.

Jonathan Capehart Wash Post: The GOP problem played itself out at the bottom of the screen on MSNBC. The cable network tracked the reaction of Obama and McCain voters in a focus group in Valley Forge, Penn. The red (McCain voters) and blue (Obama voters) dials were consistently and solidly positive throughout Obama's speech. At times, as when he talked about ending tax breaks for companies that ship jobs overseas, both dials were off the charts. At other times, as when he talked about unfreezing the credit markets, the McCain voters appeared to favor what the president said more than Obama voters. Now, while McCain voters were consistent in liking what Jindal had to say, much more so than Obama's supporters, he lost support even among Republicans when he attacked "National Democrats" and "Democratic leaders in Washington." MSNBC anchor Tamron Hall highlighted the governor and his party's problem when she reported from the focus group via Twitter (a technology I just don't get. Isn't Facebook enough?!) that "3 out of 32 gave Jindal high marks, prefer Obama's governing over Jindal."

Obama's Day Of Wreckoning

"A spectacularly delivered speech." Joe Scarborough MSNBC "Morning Joe." Pat Buchanan: "I think the same thing... but frankly the substance was LBJ circa 1965."

"You really saw a difference in the skills between the Republican response." Mika Brzezinski

Jindal looked and sounded like Mister Rogers with a butt plug. If the Louisiana governor has presidential aspirations, hie thee to a speech coach.

Fox's Charles Krauthammer: "Jindal didn't have a chance."

Joe Scarborough: "I got a lot of emails from Republicans: Mayday! Mayday! We're going down!... It was like the Dave Clark Five having to follow the Beatles."

"He was a smashing success." Buchanan on Obama's speech.

Joe: "I was on the floor last night on the Democratic side for the first part of it... and I never saw a Reagan State Of The Union but I would guess Reagan had the same kind of charm." [As a former congressman Joe's allowed to go on the House floor].

He did, Joe. I was in the gallery for Ronald Reagan's addresses. And Carter's. And George 41.

Obama gave Hillary a peck on the cheek but ignored the Lady In Red on the way out. And what's with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in an "Exorcist" pea green costume? Pelosi appeared to have a spring between her legs like a Jack In The Box. The Speaker - sporting a glassy, pre-orgasmic look - bounced up and down like she was fantasizing about mounting Obama.

Wash Post TV critic Tom Shales: Obama, at one point, referred to America's deepening and debilitating recession as a "predicament." But for the record, the state of the Union is going to get better. Like the man in the clothing-store ads, Obama seemed to be saying, "I guarantee it." ... Whew! It all sounded so nice. On more than one occasion, Republicans joined Democrats in applauding or rewarding the president with a standing ovation. Actually, there was too much applause and ovating, as has long been a tradition no matter how good or bad a speaker the president was. Obama, knowing that excessive interruption is counter-effective, sometimes spoke right through the applause and cheers, not always waiting patiently for them to subside...."It is time for America to lead again," he said, but hasn't he said that before? How many times can he say "it's time" before it really is time? The honeymoon might go on, but if it turns out to be a case of too much talk and too little action, the great communal cry of national disappointment will be crushing, and cruel.

Time Has Come Today. The Chambers Brothers.

Obama came into the chamber and made his way down the adoring Dem side. He cunningly exited down the Republican aisle where fawning members of Congress pleaded for autographs on their copies of the speech. At one point one congressman told Obama to keep his Sharpie. Obama: "I have a Sharpie in my pocket."

And a staff of sharpies at the WH expertly manipulating the media and Congress...

Doctor, My Eyes

Page Six: "Which morning cable TV show hostess took off a week recently to get her eyes done and her breasts enlarged?"

Hmmm... MSNBC's "Morning Joe" anchoress Mika Brzezinski was M.I.A. last week... "On assignment in France?"

In the Age of HDTV and 3 a.m. wake-up calls, network-funded nips and tucks are probably written into contracts...

NYT/CNBC/MSNBC/NBC: Is This The End Of The "Joint Venture"?

Pinch, punch, paunch. CNBC bizdude Joe Kernan attacking the NYT for attacking CNBC's Rick "Revolt" Santelli's anti-Obama orgasm on the floor of the Chicago Mercantile exchange last week: "CNBC is promoting rather than playing down an outburst by a reporter. This is the same newspaper that had Maureen Dowd talking about Santelli. Frank Rich talking about Santelli. All the news that is fit to..." [rips up newspaper] :49 in

Rube Goldberg Media

MSNBC rival CNN has Bernie Goldberg on Howard Kurtz's "Reliable Sources" pulling his Chatty Cathy string on the media's "slobbering love affair" with Barack Obama. Why Howard waited this long to book Bernie is beyond me. CNN

Bernie's now in Stepford Media mode after his book tour blasting the mainstream media for camping out in Obama's colon during the presidential campaign, and is beating a dead horse.

Chris "Thrill Up My Leg" Matthews' "man crush" on Obama. Yeah, well, what else is new?

I read Bernie's 173 page book last night. It took me an hour and a half (I'm a fast reader).

Where was Bernie's editor at conservative publishing house Regnery? I found Whoopi Goldberg spelled "Whoopie." Former Wash Post omsbudsman Deborah Howell was "Debroah." Lose as in lose an election was spelled "loose." Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.

I'd like to know how long it took for the former CBS News correspondent to write it. Reads like he slapped it together. Bernie makes some salient points. Most of which I knew because I follow this stuff and have written about it here. The book's not worth $25.95 retail. The best chapter is on why the media are biased. "The problem is that life inside the liberal media bubble is too comfortable. It dulls the sense. It turns even well-educated journalists into narrow-minded provincial rubes... Inside the bubble just about everybody believed that Obama deserved to win. After a while, journalists inside the bubble don't even think they're taking sides or slanting the news. They think they're simply doing what's right. That is the seduction of the bubble. It lulls journalists into thinking that they really are fair and honest brokers of information."

American media are like a Rube Goldberg machine: performing a simple task with a complicated contraption. In TV news the contraption is cable news channels with questionable conduits.

Blue Balls Fallout

One head has rolled over the "bright blue scrotum" doctored audio. FTVLive: "Word is that WBAL Technology Reporter John Sanders has been fired after he posted a video on YouTube of Fox News personality John Gibson making a racist comment.It involved a monkey on the lose at the San Francisco zoo. It seems that in the description of the money it was said that he had a "bright blue scrotum."Word is that Sanders edited a piece of video to make it appear that Gibson used the comment "bright blue scrotum" when commenting about Attorney General Eric Holder ( Gibson did not make such a comment). A number of bloggers fell for the prank and used the video on their sites. It wasn't until later that Sanders posted that the video was a hoax. Now, Baltimore insiders tell FTVLive that the prank has cost Sanders his job. His bio has also been yanked from the WBAL website.

Wash Post's Howard Kurtz has more on Sanders' sudden demise.

"They all should think about lawyering up." Fox's John Gibson issuing a caveat yesterday to TV news gossip website TVNewser, Huffington Post, and the Baltimore TV station guy. Via Johnny Dollar's Place

Dodge 'Em

"Obama's Auto Task Force Owns Foreign Cars, Will Media Care?

No.

The Whip's In The Stock Room

Upstate New York leather clothing store owner performs verbal S & M on Hillary. How did the media miss this infomercial during the presidential campaign?

MSNBC "Morning Joe": White House Lawn Pawns

I turned on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" shortly after six a.m. and thought I was watching an annoying "Snuggie" infomercial.

The widely-pimped broadcast from the White House? Outside. In 22 degrees (feels like 11) according to weather.com.

Joe's out of his deck chair bitching and jumping in the background to stay warm. The overseas correspondent doing a live shot tells him to stop complaining.

There's Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski (looking like an invalid with her lap and legs covered with a cream-colored blanket), Mike Barnicle, Willie Geist, and Andrea Mitchell (facelift and eye jobs cracking like an earthquake fault line) sitting in a semi-circle with the White House backdrop in first light.

Even the sports anchor is outside. It reminds me of the movie "What About Bob?" where neurotic psychiatrist Richard Dreyfuss ends up in a lawn chair on the grounds of an insane asylum that looks suspiciously like the White House.

Willie bailed and went inside to the White House press room: "The Chuck Todd seat where he irritates Robert Gibbs each and every day... This is where he does his best work, annoying the hell out of the president of the United States."

So we get the dime tour of the WH press room and Chuck's office.

7:07 a.m. David Gregory joins the crazies on the law - so cold his Starbucks coffee cup shakes. Mika is freezing her ass off under the blanket and jerking around like someone with Parkinson's disease.

Who at MSNBC flew over the cuckoo's nest and decided to land on the lawn? To Mika: "Medication time, medication time."

7:15 a.m. Mika to the White House: "They're just trying to get rid of us! They're trying to kill us!

7:20: The weather dude (in studio): "The wind chill is now at 10."

Oscar Wilde: "Revenge is a dish best eaten cold."

Twits & Ass

CNN's Rick "Tase Me, Bro" Sanchez beats NBC's "Meet The Press" host David Gregory. In Twitter followers. Sanchez: 56,000 to Gregory's 46,000. Wash Post and CNN "Reliable Sources" media shill Howard Kurtz on TV twits on Twitter.

Newspapers: The Monkey On Rupert's Back

Should Rupert Murdoch separate his newspapers from the rest of his media empire? Tim Arango & Richard Perez-Pena NYT: "...his lifelong fondness for newspapers has become a significant drag on the fortunes of his company, the News Corporation." Newspapers are sucking air.

The insignificant drag on Rupe's New York Post - the Reverend Al Sharpton - is not letting up the Post for that chimpanzee cartoon. Sharpton is demanding the FCC investigate Rupe's cross-ownership of two newspapers and two TV stations in the same market - NYC. Sharpton demands the Post fire the editor and cartoonist Sean Delonas.

I've got an idea to shut up Sharpton: Give Al control of the Post's editorial pages for a day. Another bully pulpit venue for the loquacious, corrupt, hypocritical Sharpton.

Oscars: Wag The Slumdog

All you need to know about last night's Oscars from the jaded eye of Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood Daily: "The only thing worse than this Oscars are the ABC promotional spots for its shows. And that's saying a lot. The show has been on for 2 hours now. I've officially lost the will to live. "

More. The best part says Nikki? "One new idea thought up by the producers that will be seen Sunday? Trophy boys. The result is that very handsome young men will now join very beautiful young women on stage carrying out the Oscar statuettes. If that's not an acknowledgement that viewership for the Academy Awards these days is limited to only females and gays, I don't know what is."

Presenter Tina Fey looked glam.

Wash Post curmudgeon critic Tom Shales: "Golden Statuettes, Leaden Television."

The winners. Not Miley Cyrus who appears to have used the same designer as Michelle Obama. You can take the girl out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl...



















Oscar dresses: best and worst.

Syndicated Talk Radio Adds Another Conservative Voice

This should piss off the Fairness Doctrine nags. Premiere Radio Network is syndicating frequent Rush sub Jason Lewis. Another conservative voice haranguing the liberal media and Dems. Jason will have more listeners on his first day than the entire roster of liberal media talkers in the aggregate.

Tom Taylor Radio Info: Expect Premiere to announce Jason’s addition to the weekday lineup as soon as today. In fact I believe the KTLK-FM, Minneapolis afternoon host will also start today, based on his own comments last week. Jason spent a decade at Hubbard’s KSTP (1500) in Minneapolis, did three years at WBT-AM/FM, Charlotte (1110/99.3) before repatriating to the Twin Cities, this time at Clear Channel-owned conservative-talk KTLK-FM (100.3). He’s filled in for Rush Limbaugh and done guest shots on NBC’s Today Show, CNN, Fox News Channel, MSNBC and CNBC. His KTLK-FM bio says he enjoys the lighter side of radio, too – he features Elvis clips and his “Beatle Bumper [bumper-music] Friday” is a regular feature. So why is Premiere interested in adding a conservative host in the same timeslot where Michael Savage does “Savage Nation”? The News/Talk board at Radio-Info.com is already revving up its starboard-thrusters over the hiring.

CB: Because Jason is cuter than Savage and Savage never enjoys the lighter side of anything 0 and is a pain in the ass with a big anti-Muslim mouth. Premiere won't get any bad press with Lewis. Or lawsuits. Or protests.

Mel's Whiner

Radio Business Report: CEO Mel Karmazin may have pulled Sirius XM away from the brink of a bankruptcy filing, but dissident shareholder Michael Hartleib isn't impressed. He says shareholders have been sold out by Karmazin and the board of directors in the deal with Liberty Media and John Malone.

RBR observation: This year's shareholders meeting has already taken place and Nasdaq has given the company a waiver so no shareholder vote will be required for the Liberty Media deal. That leaves Hartleib without much of a forum this year for shareholders to challenge the board's actions. We do, however, expect him to head to the courts yet again.

CB: Should Mel stay at the helm?

Radio Info's Tom Taylor wonders why Liberty's John Malone is so interested in rescuing Sirius XM: $6 billion in tax losses. That’s not the only reason – he no doubt wants to play keep-away with satellite TV rival Charlie Ergen of EchoStar/Dish – but the Wall Street Journal spends some quality time with folks acquainted with the $530 million offer. Those people say (very guardedly) that one of the attractions for Malone is the chance to use some of the $6 billion in tax losses against Liberty’s own tax bill. Over time, that could help Malone by as much as $2 billion, though there would be restrictions and limitations. And it’s important that Malone not be seen to be doing the deal primarily to annex the tax losses – the government doesn’t like that.

"Morning Joe" In Obama WH Guest Wing

Hal Boedeker Orlando Sentinel: "What do you make of this access? "Morning Joe" will broadcast live for three hours from the White House on Tuesday morning.

MSNBC said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs and senior Obama adviser David Axelrod will preview President Barack Obama's speech to Congress that evening.

Who else might drop by? That should be something see, and the setup will be a challenge for anchors Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski and Willie Geist.

ALERT THE MEDIA!

Why would the "setup" be a "challenge?" The WH is going to bend over backwards to make sure this gig goes smoothly.

Personally, I don't think this is a big deal. Somebody - and it might as well be me - will slyly suggest GE CEO Jeff Immelt's throwing his weight around now that he's been anointed one of 17 on Obama's economic advisory board. Or the more popular - MSNBC is licking Obama's short hairs...

I suspect the move has more to do with MSNBC's business arm CNBC - and the apopletic Rick Santelli's vox populi rant that's rubbed off on CNBC across the board. Here's anchor Larry Kudlow ripping press sec Robert Gibbs for attacking the messenger Santelli: "It reminds me of Richard Nixon's blistering attacks on the press, I don't like this one bit...this is an unprecedented White House assault on a member of the media in good standing...there's a bullying issue...this is how the White House in the Obama presidency is going to react to criticim from the media. Is this a signal of things to come from the worst press relations we've seen in a lifetime?"



We see Rick "Revolt" Santelli tearing up the WH mortgage plane as he refers to himself in the third person. Oh, and his favorite movie is "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington."

Rope A Hope

Maureen Dowd NYT: Barack Obama’s grandmother told him to smile more. Bill Clinton tells the new president to strut more. As the country takes a bullet train to bankruptcy, the last Democratic president urged the current one to “embody” that old American spunk. That spirit of — as they sing in “Oklahoma” — “We know we belong to the land and the land we belong to is grand! A-YIP-I-O-EE-AY!” “It’s worth reminding the American people that for more than 230 years everyone who bet against America lost money,” Clinton told Chris Cuomo on “Good Morning America.” “I just want him to embody that and to share that.” It’s rich. The Man from Hope whose Missus castigated Candidate Obama for raising “false hopes” is now criticizing President Obama for not peddling more gauzy hope. Instead, he implies, the president’s warnings of calamity, designed to gin up support for borrowing and printing trillions to shore up the sagging economy, might actually be dragging down our already sagging self-esteem.Says the ever-helpful Bill: “I just want the American people to know that he’s confident that we are going to get out of this and he feels good about the long run.”It’s hard to muster moxie with stocks shriveling, Chris Dodd talking nationalization, and Paul Volcker making Chicken Little sound cheery — “I don’t remember any time, maybe even in the Great Depression,” he said, “when things went down quite so fast, quite so uniformly around the world.”With this economy, as William Goldman famously said of Hollywood, “Nobody knows anything.” The only thing to fear is ... everything. We dutifully cut back on Starbucks macchiatos, designer water and even Girl Scout cookies, but we keep hurtling down. While W. and Dick conjured an alternative reality about Iraq, our avaricious bankers created an alternative reality about our financial system. Now our busted trust is not so easily fixed.In an Associated Press article headlined “Obama Plans Eclipsing New Deal Spending,” the Rutgers University political science professor Ross Baker notes, “Not surprisingly, people are wary of some very expensive proposals with no guarantee of success or even a high probability of how well they’ll work.”In The Times, Eric Dash reported that Wall Street is losing confidence in Washington’s vague and shifting plans, sending shares of bank companies plunging to new lows on Friday. President Obama disdains sound bites, and he does not have Bill Clinton’s talent for reducing the abstruse to aperçus. We wanted someone smart to gather a bunch of smart people around him to get us out of this fix. But Mr. Obama’s egghead manner has failed to soothe a nation with the jits. Maybe he has been so intent on avoiding the stereotype of the Angry Black Man, as he wrote in his memoir, that it’s hard for him to connect with and articulate public anger about our diminishment.Though he demonstrated in the campaign that he has a rare gift for inspiring the country with new belief in itself, Mr. Obama has not yet captured either the grit the moment requires or the fury it provokes. He has not explained in a compelling way why Americans who followed the rules need to sacrifice more to help those who flouted the rules.That is why the CNBC reporter Rick Santelli struck a populist nerve with his screed about the unfairness of responsible homeowners picking up the tab for irresponsible homeowners — following the unfairness of taxpayers who are losing jobs, homes and savings propping up the exact same bankers and carmakers whose greed and myopia caused the economy to crash.He spoke for those who want a pound of flesh. With the Wall Street bailout, Mr. Obama at least gave bankers a bit of the belt, and capped their pay. But homebuyers who wanted more than they could afford seem to be getting a free ride.Yet Obama is oozing empathy compared with his attorney general, who last week called us “a nation of cowards” about race. Eric Holder, who showed precious little bravery in standing up to Clinton on a pardon for the scoundrel Marc Rich, is wrong. We have just inaugurated a black president who installed a black attorney general. We need leaders to help us through our crises, not provide us with crude evaluations of our character. And we don’t need sermons from liberal virtuecrats, anymore than from conservative virtuecrats.In the middle of all the Heimlich maneuvers required now — for the economy, Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan, health care, the environment and education — we don’t need a Jackson/Sharpton-style lecture on race. Barack Obama’s election was supposed to get us past that. Besides, the president has other issues that demand his passion.

Ellis Eyes Fans

Rush & Molloy NYDN: Get ready for a dangerous collision between political pundits and stand-up comics at the Gotham Comedy Club on Monday night when Ellis Henican, Jim Mendrinos, Leighann Lord, Maureen Langan, and Gerald McCullough face off in "It's News To Us."

The only reason I mention this item is that Ellis Henican is a buddy of mine. One of the funniest people I know. The Pulitizer Prize-winning Newsday columnist is a Fox News political analyst and a former radio talk show host on NYC's WOR.

Watch Ellis tear Bill O'Reilly a new one. Maybe this is why he's not on Fox much anymore:

Wash Post Saves Countenance

Wash Post: The headline, illustration and text of "Below the Beltway," a column in The Washington Post Magazine today, may cause offense to readers. The magazine was printed before a widely publicized incident last week in which a chimpanzee attacked and badly mauled a woman in Stamford, Conn. In addition, the image and text inadvertently may conjure racial stereotypes that The Post does not countenance. We regret the lapse.

"The Post does not countenance." What strange usage. Merriam-Webster:

1.appearance, esp. the look or expression of the face: a sad countenance.
2.the face; visage.
3.calm facial expression; composure.
4.approval or favor; encouragement; moral support.
5.Obsolete. bearing; behavior.–verb (used with object)
6.to permit or tolerate: You should not have countenanced his rudeness.
7.to approve, support, or encourage.

How many times in your lifetime have you uttered a sentence with the word countenance? To wit: I do not countenance sex with chimpanzees. I'll bet even NYT wordsmith and author Bill Safire's never used the word in this context. Period. Maybe Safire would call the Post "lugubrious." [Read his NYT On Language column in today's Sunday mag] I sent Mr. Safire an email to persuade him to discuss the Post's use of countenance in this correction.

So here's the offending Wash Post headline: Monkey Business. Subhead: The Good News For Men. Women Love Apes.

First graf: In a study described recently in the New York Times, men and women were shown various types of sexually explicit videos, and sensors were attached to their private parts to measure their physical arousal. The subjects were also asked to rate their degree of arousal themselves.The study found that men were completely predictable: Straight men reported they were turned on only by images of women, and the machine confirmed that. Same with gay men and images of men. But while women of both orientations reported similarly gender-specific responses, the machine called them liars. The sensors reported that all women were turned on by absolutely everything ... including videos of bonobos having sex. Bonobos are apes.The Times treated this as social anthropology. The story droned on for what seemed like 200 pages and wrestled with grave epistemological issues involving the Cartesian nexus of mind and body

For the record I've never been turned on by watching "bonobos" indulge in F.U.C.K. Fornication Under Carnal Knowledge - or any variation thereof, all of which are false in Ye Jolly Olde Englande. Fuck etymology here and here and here.

Conan the Contrarian Calls it A Night

Will Ferrell shows Conan O'Brien his Bush and bright blue balls.



Related: Conan's last show w/video

"Conan Caps Long Late Night Run" NYP

Brother Gibbs: I Started A Joke

Now let me get this straight. The good Brother Gibbs admonishes CNBC crazy Rick "Revolt or Die" Santelli to read the Obama house of cards foreclosure rescue plan before going off half-cocked on the air. [See Rick Santelli below]

Why wasn't Obama's mouthpiece urging Congress and the American people to read the 1,000 page economic stimulus bill BEFORE it was rammed through the House and Senate faster than it took the deranged chimpanzee to rip off that poor lady's face?

Congress went off half-cocked rubber-stamping the Obama stimulus package without reading the thing. The final bill wasn't even put up on the Internet. Congressional staffers were reduced to going through the bill line by line like in the old days while K Street lobbyists got copies before they did. Nancy Pelosi engineered the speed of light vote to make sure she got on that taxpayer-footed airplane flight to Rome for an audience with the Pope.

So Robert Gibbs goes off on the wired Santelli spearheading a Chicago Tea Party protest over taxpayers bailing out "losers' bad mortgages" inviting him for a cup of coffee. Decaf, Gibbs slyly suggests, because Santelli appeared coked up or something. Proffered coffee or beer seems to be the stock Obama blow-off media line. I sort of snickered the first time Obama laid it on us. Now tedious. Offer me a Grey Goose in taxpayer-funded WH Baccarat crystal. Maybe I'd actually show up...

Perhaps Gibbs should've extended his generous offer of decaf to his lieutenants in Congress - Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid et al - who were more frenetic than comedian Carrot Top - in doing the legislative bidding of the Obama team.

Sam Stein Huff Post: The substance of the debate wasn't avoided either. Gibbs, striking an defiant and occasionally emotional tone, insisted that nothing in the president's proposal to keep 9 million people in their homes would help speculators, people trying to flip houses, or those who bought a house they knew they couldn't afford. He added that preventing foreclosures would be beneficial even to those whose mortgage payments were stable, keeping neighborhood property values from spiraling downwards.

Gibbs expanded his critique to cable news in general, saying that the campaign coverage was completely out of touch:

"If I hadn't worked on the campaign but simply watched the cable news scorekeeping of the campaign, we lost virtually every day of the race. If I would have just watched cable TV, I long would have crawled into a hole and given up this whole prospect of changing the country."

Related: Politico "Gibbs Rebukes CNBC's Santelli"

FBN 1. Wall Street 0.

The College Politico: Fox Business Network has won a victory against the Treasury Department in its Freedom of Information Act request for details about the government’s bailout plan. Judge Richard J. Holwell of the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York said in a decision Friday that the government is directed to comply with Fox Business’s request under the FOIA “within 30 days and to produce a Vaughn index with 45 days.” That means Treasury must comply with Fox Business’s request by Monday, April 23, and must produce a Vaughn index by Monday, April 6.A Vaughn index details which documents have been withheld and why... Here’s exactly what FBN was looking for in this suit: FBN asked the Treasury Department to identify, among other issues, the troubled assets purchased, any collateral extended, and any restrictions placed on these financial institutions for their participation in this program.

Ann Coulter's Friends With Benefits

Page Six: Ann Coulter was less than candid with Joy Behar, who was guest-hosting on "Larry King Live," when she said she'd never dated a liberal. In the '90s, the brainy blonde dated Bob Guccione Jr., the founder of Spin magazine. And in 2007, Page Six spies caught her making out with Andrew Stein on a JetBlue flight to Palm Beach for 2½ hours, and often found them in passionate embrace in New York restaurants. Democrat Stein was a state assemblyman, Manhattan borough president and City Council president before joining the private sector in 1994.

Ann's in big trouble over illegally voting in Florida when she's registered in Connecticut.

Related: NYC lawsuit against Coulter for more than five grand in back apartment rent.

Pay To Play

How much would YOU pay to meet Rachel Maddow, Brian Williams, Katie Couric, Charles Gibson, or lunch with Anderson Cooper? NYP

John Gibson: Great Balls Of Ire

Huff Post and TVNewser have blue balls even though they ejaculated from here to Cleveland trying to nail Fox News. Balls are clamped in a vise after both ran with phony video:

TVNewser gobbled up an altered YouTube clip slamming Fox News John Gibson and ran with it. A salivating HuffPo picked it up.

TVNewser: It came from YouTube user "john13210" and arrived in the anonymous tip box. We regret the error as well. The clip has since been removed from YouTube. Gibson tells TVNewser, "The Huffington Post, in its zeal to slime me, went over the line and posted a phony, fabricated quote, attributed it to me, and which actually constitutes a lie, and a slander. The Huffington Post plays fast and loose on a regular basis, but this time it was caught in an out and out fabricated falsehood."

Why isn't Gibson trashing TVNewser - the source? HuffPo isn't the only one playing fast and loose here. TVNewser was more or less the in-house organ grinder for MSNBC, NBC, CNBC. Now the TV news website has become bipartsan with parent company Mediabistro featuring Fox Bizbabe Alexis Glick along with MSNBC's Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski among the stellar attractions at March Media Madness.

This is the unaltered video via Johnny Dollar's Place:



UPDATE: The Huffington Post has learned that the below video [which has been removed from YouTube] has been doctored. We regret the error and apologize to Mr. Gibson. John Gibson never compared Eric Holder to a monkey with a bright blue scrotum. Rather, as seen in the unedited video below, Gibson played audio of Holder saying "nation of cowards" -- so his full, unedited remarks were: "We were talking about Eric Holder today on the radio and his comment that this is a nation of cowards." The video was doctored to include Trace Gallagher's voice saying, "bright blue scrotum" where Gibson played Holder's "nation of cowards" remark. The Huffington Post does not know the source of the video's doctoring — it was picked up off TVNewser.

Media Monkeys See. Media Monkeys Do.

Here's the backstory from NewsBusters on how HuffPo ended up the monkey in the middle. Johnny Dollar has the definitive piece on how somebody made a monkey out of HuffPo and TVNewser.