By 8, it’s time to give my 11-year-old white standard poodle, Dartina, her phenobarbital: I either put it in a boiled egg or wrap it up in some American cheese. She started having grand mal seizures a year ago. Tina’s a very elegant dog; I call her my supermodel. And then there’s Mickey, my black standard poodle. He’s 5, and he’s a juvenile delinquent. If I was still a D.A. and he was human, he’d be in jail! He begs for an egg, too, and he always gets one.
PILL FOR THE PIG Around 9:30 or 10, the dogs and I go outside to take some fruits and vegetables and pig pellets out to Wilbur. It’s quite a sight, the two dogs prancing along all excited, and me in my pajamas and probably boots, because it can get muddy back there. Wilbur is 19, so he gets an arthritis pill that I put in a cherry tomato. He weighs 250 pounds.
Then Pirro pounds three Valiums into a powder and slips it into her martini....
Apparently, Ms. Pirro is a graduate of the "Green Acres" latchkey kid program.
ReplyDeleteThe dogs are prancing along all excited?
ReplyDeleteYou don't say...
Pirro's next project: Teaching the dogs to tie a piece of rubber tubing around their leg and use a needle.
Hmmm...Valium-tini ... can I Red Bull to that too?
ReplyDelete