The 10 Most Frustrating People Of 2009

"People I'd Like To See Disappear In 2010" - or right now:

1.   Joe Botox Biden - Which took longer? The chiseling of Mount Rushmore or the chiseling of Joe Biden? Joe Biden. It took only six years to carve the faces of four presidents at a cost of 900 grand.

Biden's been a work in progress (hair plugs, facelifts, eye jobs, Botox, fillers) since the 1980s costing maybe as much (if you add in what he spent from his campaign coffers on home improvements and landscaping).  Loose-lipped Biden's not quite as minimal as Reagan's shadow George "You Die, I Fly" Bush.  But Biden's still a nothingburger even on Obama burger runs to Five Guys.

2.   Arianna Huffington, Huffington Post founder. She's a crazy like a fox Republican-turned-liberal Dem Greek authoress who has arm-twisted more dough out of investors than the sum of Tiger's cum.  MSNBC sucks up to Arianna by giving her face (time).  I cannot understand a nasal word she whines. 

3.   Nancy Pelosi - Next thing you know the House Speaker will be bumming rides on Tiger Woods' 2008 G550.  Nancy with the disturbingly maniacal face is the ultimate hypocrite.  Demands non-stop private jets to her home state of California  - government or corporate.  Nancy changes positions faster than a porn star. Tip O'Neill is rolling in his grave. The next surgery Nancy should undergo is a root canal to cut off the flow of taxpayers' dough to 1-800-Flowers.

4.   Barbara Walters - The ABC News octogenarian legend's performance is rotobotic, predictable, and reminiscent of a 1960s Mattel Chatty Cathy doll.  Yet zombie viewers and media mavens still flock to Babs' yearly  "10 Most Fascinating People" - none of which are "fascinating" in the true sense of the word. Media robots pimp the show and  breathlessly reveal Barbara's #1 Fascinating Person.  Babs rules "The View" like a Catholic school nun yet pimps her autobiography exposing her long-ago affair with the still alive) married black Republican Sen. Edward Brooke. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most hypocritical of all.

5   MSNBC's Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ed Schultz, Dr. Nancy Snyderman, Dylan Ratigan - One example of MSNBC's unabashed bias and Edgar Allan Poe wildly swinging unbalanced rogue pendulum between Serious News Journalist/Commentor roles:  Matthews Thursday night weirdly quoting Hamlet and declaring himself a liberal.  There is no rescue for MSNBC, cowering in the ratings pit protecting its liberal bleeding heart, as Fox's razor-sharp pendulum descends unmercifully from above.

6.   Ann Coulter - She appeared the week of December 13th on Bill O'Reilly's show wearing the blackest black lonnnng false eyelashes on upper and lower lids!  I don't know which was more distracting:  the flapping fringe that nearly obscured her eyes or her bobbing Adam's apple. Ann works the media, distributing outlandish quotes every time she's pimping a new book. And the media bite every time.  Politically I'm mostly in Ann's corner, but privately I'm wondering if she and Jamie Lee Curtis have something in common...

7.   Tiger Woods and his Cecil B. DeMille chick cast of thousands. Enough said.

8.   CNN - The fourth place cable news network should be institutionalized for schizophrenia.  Or, to be politically correct, dissociative identity disorder (previously known as multiple personality disorder). Viewers never know which personality is going to materialize: Hard News, Hotdogger, Hot Air, Hologram, 'Ho.  There's no shrink on the planet that can treat CNN as long as Jon Klein is warden of the cuckoo's nest.

9.   Andy Rooney - The CBS "60 Minutes" curmudgeon has exceeded his expiration date by 20 years.  Rooney merely recycles mindless tripe about stuff like multiple uses for paper clips.  An abject waste of air time.  Rooney was amusing in his prime.  That was in the 1960s.  Why hasn't CBS made Andy weed whack those annoying eyebrows?

10.  Harry Reid - The Senate Majority Leader is nothing more than a marionette manipulated by puppetmaster Obama.  Reid will get his political
comeuppance in 2010 when Nevada voters give him a richly deserved boot.  Harry, you ain't got a prayer. Kiss your bony ass goodbye.

Related:  Chickaboomer's "10 Most Fascinating People Of 2009"