Dave's Monday Mea Culpa Draws 5.7 Mil - Three Times Conan

NYT's Maureen Dowd must be having an affair with a married man:  We haven’t heard that the curmudgeonly comedian, who has never lost his streak of Midwest primness, forced any staffers to listen to tales of pubic hairs on Cokes or Long Dong Silver.

From what we know so far, and that may not be everything, the women who got involved with Letterman were not pressured. One former intern, Holly Hester, said she had wanted to marry him but that he broke it off because of their age disparity.

Stephanie Birkitt, his former lover and assistant, described herself as his best friend. She was not punished but rewarded with a recurring on-air starring role — despite the fact that she wasn’t funny or charming. As usual, Letterman was living out loud on the show, showing the audience his crush. His company footed the tab for Birkitt to go to law school, a loan she has now paid back; it says it did the same for some other staffers who wanted to pursue higher education.

On Monday night, when Letterman joked that he might be the first talk-show host to be impeached, Birkitt’s name was still listed in the show credits.

Birkitt's 90-year old grandmother told the NYP: "She worked for Dave for 11 years. She said she never had sex with him."

NYDN:  "It's clear she's having a sexual relationship with Letterman," another source familiar with the probe told The News.

Whatever it was it turned Birkitt's ex-lover Joe Halderman, right, into a raging maniac.