Radio Hall of Famer Jim Bohannon on The Top 10 things Dave can do to exploit the situation.
10. Leer at Paul Shafer dressed in drag.
9. Produce a new show for HBO called "Fucking with the Stars".
8. Arrange a satellite feed and swap pre-pubescent pussy-chasing stories with Roman Polanski.
7. Give an on-air tour of his own home office - the bunker above the Sullivan Theater.
6. Turn the tables and start stalking his stalker.
5. Have female staffers as guests to explain what wonderful oral sex is possible with a gap in one's teeth.
4. Invite as guests to one show Mark Sanford, Elliot Spitzer, and John Edwards; tease the audience with innuendo; but not once come right out and mention sexual misconduct.
3. On his next birthday, invite Drew Barrymore back and, this time, have her flash her tits at the audience, too.
2. Confess to a fantasy involving Alex Rodriguez, Sarah Palin's daughter, and Tom DeLay dressed in his dancing outfit.
And the number one thing Dave can do to exploit this: When his production company's logo appears at the end of the show, have the words "Worldwide Pants" accompanied by the sound of a zipper.
We need to compile a top 10 list of famouse sexual idiots. Here are my nominations:
ReplyDelete10 Teddy Kennedy Gone but not forgotten
9 Bobbie Kennedy Ditto
8. Jack Kennedy---Noticing a pattern?
7. Roman (Break 'em in early) Polanski
6. Eliot (Do as I say not as I do) Spitzer
5. Bill (I did not have sex with that woman Monica Lewinski) Clinton
4. Hillary Clinton (If she didn't have an extramarital affarir she should!)
3. David (I wish I could have laid Palin) Letterman
2. Mark (Frequent Flyer miles) Sanford
1. John (I want to screw over my dying wife) Edwards
Will this scandal leave a stain on Worldwide pants?
ReplyDeleteI suddenly realized: In "Worldwide Pants", "pants" may refer, not to trousers, but heavy breathing.
ReplyDelete