The Ed Show: Average White Bland

Was The Ed Show music bed Average White Band's "Pick Up The Pieces" or "Takin' Care Of Business" by Bachman Turner Overdrive?

Somebody over at MSNBC better be humming BTO's "You Ain't Seen Nuthin' Yet." If last night's roll-out of Ed Middle Class 2009 is any indication, the flawed production assembly line (after all it was a Monday - maybe they're still drunk or high from the weekend), will all be Working In A Coal Mine (Goin' down down down, Workin' in a coal mine, Whop! about to slip down) Lee Dorsey 1966.

Ed's new set is a five-alarm fire. Red and orange flames licking, beckoning the disaffected middle class working class Democrat Joe Sixpacked, lunchpailed, overalled, paint-speckled, tool-belted steel-belted radicals.

His shiny fire-engine red desk looks like the logo for Domino's Pizza. Four red blocks with four dots in each, and as shot from the front, forms the letter "L" for liberal.

The background is ablaze with colored light bars resembling audio volume.

There are a few parts missing from Ed 2008 in the redesign of the M Class Ed 2009: Ed's legendary limousine liberalism that entices talk radio conferences to pit him on panels against conservative talk radio hosts arguing against, say, now-President Obama's incendiary racist anti-American Reverend Jeremiah Wright while Ed whinnies about "freedom of speech."

M Class Ed 2009 is a beacon of hope for millions of disaffected Democrats. Or so Ed hopes. "I have a pssion for health care," Ed brays.

After his 10-minute angina monologue dubbed OP ED (quick study Ed could give Obama TelePrompTer lessons), Ed flatlined for a spot break and returned to interview the president of the United Steelworkers Union.

The rivetheads sitting around the bar outside the gates of Ford's Rouge Plant in Dearborn paid no attention to their new self-appointed TV spokesman.

Ed turns to Obama's Top Ten in 77 days, noting "It looks like he's been president for seven years." Whatever that's supposed to mean...

Next up, Obama's transportation secretary Ray LaHood with an ear-numbing rant about something.

Then to Ed's new regular segment Psycho Talk where he rails against "crazy conservatives" selling fear. "This country has rejected fear," Ed bellows confidently. And how did Obama get his stimulus bill and massive budget through Congress? Fear.

Ed blessedly brings in a triumverate of talking heads. Conservative radio talker Lars Larson, liberal MSNBC staple Hurricane Katrina Vanden Heuvel, and all-around media presence Larry Elder.

Lars laughs about his "pinko" tie he wore for the occasion of Ed's debut. Ed (in an orange tie): "I wore this tie so you could see the sky if a nuke went off."

Thus far The Ed Show is about as stimulating as a chicken processing plant.

Ed's taken the shotgun to the male demo with Ed's Playbook hoping to be all things to all men, and for his ego, remembrance of his glory days as a football player. There's a photo of Ed with a mop of curly hair in a football uniform.

Ed's last interviewee: the mayor of Lansing, Michigan who talks GM, the K car, and NCAA basketball playoffs. Go, Michigan State!

Then an inexplicable seg to "Pitchmen" George Bush and Joe Biden throwing out opening day baseball pitches with video from the "Today" show of disgraced former NY governor and hooker addict Eliot Spitzer. The panel is brought back in to mull "Pitchman" Spitzer's possible resurrection.

The show's producers experimented with side shots of Ed effusing and camera changes to project Ed's intensity.

Ed gets an A for his performance. Impressive for a TV virgin. But harsh. D for content. C for production (what's with the two-man crew skidding around the studio?).

The middle-class filling of MSNBC's Hardball Oreo will never achieve the overnight ratings success of Glenn Beck on Fox News. The difference between Ed Schultz and Glenn Beck, other than political leanings: Beck projects warmth. Ed's edge is off-putting. And why do I sense this beacon for the middle class spin is bull shit? The Ed Show is doomed. The time slot. Format. Targeted Democratic middle class male demo more politically aligned with Glenn Beck and Fox News.

Bizarrely, Ed's TV show reminds me of the 1970s hit "Angie Baby" by Helen Reddy. A clearly disturbed girl (MSNBC) lures a boy (Ed) and makes him disappear inside her radio where she holds him prisoner.