Mika Brzezinski: Up Against The Wahl

MSNBC "Morning Joe" anchoress Mika Brzezinski is inching closer to acquiring a sex toy. This a.m. she announced she's in possession of Estee Lauder's new battery-powered vibrating mascara wand. "Morning Joe's" top story of the week? The media buzz generated by Barbara Walters and her vibrator "necessity" - a staple in these tough economic times. Mika's reax: disgust. "The View" girls retaliate by sticking it to her. Mika runs into Babs in a restaurant yesterday. All is well.

I hope someone gave TurboLash to her. $32 is a hefty price to pay for yet another cosmetic gimmick. The best mascara is DiorShow. Lauder oozes about "the relationship between vibration, length, volume, separation, and curl." It comes with a caveat: Do not insert wand into verboten orifices. (Just kidding.)

Back to vibrators. Chickaboomer knows only too well what Mika is missing sans the Wahl Swedish Massager with G Spot attachment. Amazon sells the whole package for 17 bucks. Goodman's in Miami (where I got my last one) includes a sex video. Without the video the massager is $25.

I get the vibes that Mika would be more comfortable with a device that doesn't scream orgasm like those pricey contraptions with pulsating, rotating love beads inside the translucent fake appendage topped with rabbit ears (not the TV kind).

So let's pitch in and buy Mika a respectable Wahl. Donate by hitting CB's button. PayPal button at right.

She may tell us to buzz off...