SEC: "Roar Like A Mouse and Fight Like A Flea"

Private dick Harry Markopolos floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee before a congressional committee Wednesday ripping into the Wall Street-whipped Securities & Exchange Commission for ignoring his warnings about "The Ponz" Bernie Madoff screwing clients out of billions.

Harry: "If you flew the entire SEC staff to Boston, sat them in Fenway Park for an afternoon, they could not find first base... It took me five minutes to figure out he was a fraud."

The SEC first heard from Harry nine years ago but did nothing. Harry's revealing a new $1 bil Ponzi scheme before Congress today. He tracked the dirty sexy money to offshore accounts he believes are those of the Russian mob and south of the border drug cartels. "I want to make this perfectly clear to all those Russian mobsters and Latin American drug cartels out there. I was acting on your behalf, trying to stop him from zeroing out your accounts. I'm the good guy here. Just like to make that clear."

Why have a regulatory agency like the SEC that's pussified by the big wigs it's supposed to investigate?

Business as usual in Washington. Obama's got an impossible task bringing change anyone can believe in.

I scrolled through the entire 162-page list of Madoff's victims. You have to read it to realize the scope of Bernie's heinous fraud. Forget the celebrity victims such as Larry King, John Malkovich, NY Mets owner fred Wilpon, Sandy Koufax, the pension funds for dead singer John Denver's posthumous business, Mort Zuckerman, Kevin Bacon & wife Kyra Sedgewick, Dreamworks' Jeffrey Katzenberg, Zsa Zsa Gabor, NJ Senator Frank Lautenberg, "Forrest Gump" and "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" screenwriter Eric Roth. [WSJ culls the cream of the victims here]

Here's a plausible explanation for the SEC's inaction from a stomp-out-sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths "neurological science" website: "When faced with multiple fully documented complaints of the Ponzi, the SEC crowd, basically Wall Street wannabes, wouldn’t lift a finger. Why? Why would they? A government job is just an interim charm school on the way to a real job on Wall Street... the staff lawyers at the SEC don’t want to blow up their careers.

Enquiring congressional minds wanna know: "Who do you want to play you in the movie?" asked Rep. Dan Maffei (D-N.Y.). "You want somebody with hair?" [Bald PA Dem Rep Paul] Kanjorski asked. "Not necessarily," Dirty Harry answered. "Michael Chiklis is Greek and from Massachusetts, so I think he'd be perfect."

Text of Harry's testimony