ABC News Presidential Debate: You Don't Need A Weatherman To Know Which Way The Wind Blows.

After watching that ABC News presidential debate moderated by "Heckle & Jeckle" Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopoulos, I am reminded by a famous quip from a famous Chicago ink-stained wretch.

Mike Royko. Now off the planet. The Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist left the Chicago Sun-Times for the Tribune after it was sold to Rupert Murdoch with the parting shot: "No self-respecting fish would be wrapped in a Murdoch paper."

No self-respecting person would wrap themselves in the plethora of Praying Mantis political analysis following what appeared to be a debate wrapped in a Murdoch paper.

It was like the National Enquirer dug up all the UFO reporters.

Executive summary: Hillary admits Obama can beat McCain but "I can do a better job." Obama: "I am the better candidate but she can win." Obama's fresh garbage stinks more than Hillary's rotting scandals. And neither would answer a question about picking each other for vice-president.

This after Charlie to Obama on the "bitter" question: "Don't you think some people find it patronizing?"

Obama: "Not the first time I've manged up a statement and not the last... (Back to bitter) She said I'm elitist, condescending and patronizing. I have reached out to people of faith. Same is true of goun owners and sportsmen. You take one person's statement that's not properly phrased and beat it to death and that's what Senator Clinton is doing."

Then Obama brings up Clinton's derisive comment about "not staying home and baking cookies." (From the first Clinton campaign.) "She's learned the wrong lesson from it because she's adopting the same tactics."

The Tee Vee talking heads bray the cookies thing was a huge mistake.

Hillary: "My comments were about your remarks. It just wasn't me - it was people who heard them. What's important here is what we stand for. I have a proven record..." 35 years, blah, blah, blah "empowering people starting from a base of respect."
Charlie to Obama: "You said you never heard Rev. Wright say from the pulpit those things. But a year ago you rescinded an invitation over his getting "rough in sermons."
Charlie to Hillary: "You have said he wouldn't have been 'my pastor.'"
Obama: "I didn't hear them (the YouTube clips) because I wasn't in church that day."
Charlie: "But you did rescind the invitation."

Stephanopoulos: "Do you think Rev. Wright loves America as much as you? If you get the noination what about those statements played again and again?"
Obama: "It would be something else. If Senator Clinton gets the nomination, things would be brought up."
George: "Do you believe he (Wright) is patriotic as you are?"

Charlie: "We're getting a little out of balance here." No kidding. And we're only into the first half hour!

But Hillary picks Barack's bones clean on the Wright thing, even suggesting Wright let "Hamas put a message" in the church bulletin.

Cut to a video of a voter asking: "You really lost my vote (with the Bosnia lie). What can you tell me to get my vote back?" Hillary: "On a couple of occasions in the last weeks I've said things not in keeping with my book. I'm embarrassed. I wasn't as accurate as I've been in the past. I will try to get more sleep, you know." Bleated "you know" nervously like five times.

George to Obama: "Do you believe Senator Clinton has been truthful about her past?"

Then Charlie brings up the old chestnut about Obama not wearing the American flag pin. "Do you believe in the American flag? I note you put one on (a pin) yesterday."

Obama: "I revere the American flag. I wore one yesterday. A veteran gave it to me. This is the kind of manufacturerd issue that distorts."

Then former Clintonista George Stephanopoulos drops the bomb, asking him to explain his relationship with former 60s radical and Weatherman killer bomber William Ayers, heretofore only thumped on Tee Vee by right-winger Sean Hannity on Fox News.

Obama: "The guy lives in my neighborhood. I'm also friendly with Tom Coburn (Repub congressman and M.D.), one of the most conservative guys who wants the death penalty for those who perform abortions."

Then Hill jumps in: "I heard Senator Obama served on a board with Mr. Ayers and the relationship continued after 9/11." (Ayers suggested after 9/11 that he should've bombed more during his reign of terror.) "I know Senator Obama is a good man but this is an issue the Republicans will raise... I have a lot of baggage and people have been rummaging through it for years."

Oh, so your baggage has passed the smell test and Obama fresh stench is unelectable.

Obama: "President Clinton pardoned members of the Weather Underground. I've demonstrated I can take a punch. I have taken some pretty good ones from Senator Clinton."

After an hour of bullshit Charlie takes off his space alien mask and turns to the Iraq war.

Hillary: Will pull out troops in 60 days. Obama: 16 months. Both agree to discourage Iran from getting nuclear weapons.

9:07 pm: Taxes. They parse the differences between tax plans. $200,000 and below are Hillary's "middle Americans." $250,000 for Obama.

Neither would commit to an answer on raising capital gains taxes.

Now to guns. Hillary continues to dance around that issue. She was for gun control now for tossing the hot potato to state and local governments. Hill wants to make everybody happy: anti-gun and pro-gun.

Both Hillary and Obama dodged questions on DC's handgun ban that's been appealed to the Supreme Court.

Neither one would solicit the advice of George W., although Obama said he'd like to talk to George the Elder for his foreign policy expertise.

Cut to ABC's eighth Chelsea Clinton cutaway glowing through her peach lip gloss.

Thus the first debate in seven weeks mercifully ended. The reviews are in and they are brutal for ABC News, Gibson, and Clinton shill Stephanopoulos. Huff Post ABC's website's got debate vid.

Alas, Mike Royko isn't around to write about this disaster. Lucky for Mike he mercifully died in 1997 before the intolerable political blowhard explosion.

I watched a minute of Keith Olbermann spin on the "bad night for Obama" with a somber NBC political director Chuck Todd. Bombastic speculative pedestrian BS.