Ted Kennedy: Brain Cancer

Ted Kennedy's got an inoperable malignant brain tumor. Here. NYT ABC News Wash Post The Boston Herald in billing Ted as "the nation's liberal lion," reports Ted has from under a year to five.

Meredith Viera's Winning Streak

Streaking her college campus in 1975 prepared Meredith Viera for a lifetime of naked lunches with TV suits. Soup Cans

Left, the Portuguese Princess strikes her preferred pose.

Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran

NBC's Richard Engel asked George Bush if he had plans to attack Iran in his last gasp as prez. Bush denied it; the Jerusalem Post reported Bush's denial; Keith Olbermann thumped the speculation last night.

Hillary: Sob Sister

The '50s TV game show "Queen For A Day" returning to the airwaves. The lady with the best sob story got the crown. NYP First contestant: Hillary Clinton. A desperate Hillary turns to Bush kingmaker Karl Rove snatching Rove's divination that Hillary is the "most electable."

So here's Keith Olbermann and liberal shill Jonathan Alter last night demonizing Rove and dismissing Hillary. YouTube Liberal Salon still demanding the Fox News political guru get real about his role in the McCain campaign. Ten days after Rove's first appearance on the network, Slate's Troy Patterson announced that on-air, Rove offers "clarity, concision, humility, good humor, good posture and dispassionate analysis." In March, after Rove had made 15 appearances on Fox, the New York Times' David Carr said the pundit is "one of the best things on television right now." Carr called him "graceful, careful and generous," adding that he is unlike "the real Karl Rove." But it may just be the real Karl Rove dressed up for broadcast.

Meanwhile "It's Day 13 of the Clinton Campaign Death Watch." Dana Milbank Wash Post And unlike Indiana Jones, Hillary won't nail the Holy Grail. Hillary's reduced to shilling hollow sexism spin. Wash Post Geraldine Ferraro and Rachel Maddow on the "Today" show this a.m.

Yesterday former Ku Klux Klan member Sen. Robert Byrd came out for Obama. And today a bounced Hillary honchette takes a page from her former boss's revenge playbook and sidles over to Obama. Patty Solis Doyle gets even for the New Yorker piece this week where Hillaryettes blamed Miz Patty for Hillary's political woes. NYP Politico

So Hillary will win Kentucky and claim her "Queen For A Day" crown for the saddest "close but no cigar" story. Scarlett: "Tomorrow's another day" as Obama cops Oregon and hits the magic "milestone." NYT

TV Suits Behaving Badly

Boston Tee Vee news crews disappointed when Ch. 7 lady GM Randi "Do you know who the f**k I am?" Goldklank was MIA at court yesterday to answer charges in that drunk plane tirade. Boston Herald Goldklank's attorney pleaded not guilty. Next court date June 20th. Nobody's telling where Randi's hiding out...

The Tampa Tee Vee GM caught Friday at an adult movie theater in a circle jerk with undercover cops in the middle is beached. Tampa Tribune Fox WTVT's Roger Linger fingered at Fantasy Land.

Boobs

"Lighten Up, Dolly" dishes NYP Page Six over Howard Stern's "parody" putting evil words in her mouth by clever editing of her audio book. The top-heavy seemingly ageless country star is thinking lawsuit.

Conservative radio talk show flamethrower and CNN host Glenn Beck bags a lucrative two-book deal. Simon & Shuster is forking over $3 mil after his first book hit #1 on the NYTimes bestseller list. NYO

The War between NBC and Fox lives another day. NYDN: It looks as if Keith Olbermann really got under Bill O'Reilly's skin. Apparently O'Reilly's on-air assault against GE chief Jeffrey Immelt (and GE's business in Iran) is revenge against Olbermann's constant attacks, reports Howard Kurtz of The Washington Post. Fox News honcho Roger Ailes was so fed up with Olbermann's snarking that he warned NBC's Jeff Zucker he would let his right-wing host endlessly bash Zucker's friends at GE. Olbermann told us that "when The Washington Post reports [Rupert] Murdoch's going to use the New York Post to retaliate against me, and a couple of hours later the New York Post [does], using made-up hogwash about my friends David Gregory and Chris Matthews, I think The Washington Post's point has been proven." O'Reilly's rep said he's on vacation. Hopefully somewhere without newspapers.

NBC News prez Steve Capus's predictable blameless spin to a pissed off WH claiming NBC "deceptively" edited a Bush sit down with Richard Engel. TV Newser

Oh, lighten up, guys...

Arrevederci, Vito

Snarky Page Six runs this: "Which television correspondent got her job the old-fashioned way? After she bedded her boss at her former network, she became very close with the married news head of her current network."

I presume the Rupert Murdoch-owned Post isn't referring to a Fox News anchorbabe - or Barbara Walters...

"Vito Finito" trumpets the NYP! The lone NYC Repub congressman got his dick in a wringer - a two-fer - DWI (0.17) and a second family he'd hidden away in the DC area. Wash Post Somebody got to him between the weekend and Monday. A blissfully compartmentalized Vito gladhanded voters all weekend insisting he was still running. NYDN It didn't take long for Vito's life to flash before his eyes. NYDN NYT Maybe must-see Tee Vee next...

Richard Huff NYDN: The Spitzer household might want to skip "Law & Order" Wednesday night. That's because the season finale airing at 10 p.m. has a story line that hits close to home - perhaps too close. Get this! There's an investigation into a murder that leads to a prostitution ring called Excaliber Exclusives. The case also involves payments to a fake company designed to hide money going to the prostitution ring. And, if that weren't enough, the governor of New York is caught in a wiretap making arrangements for a hottie named Chanel. The arrogant, egotistical, power-hungry governor is named Donald Shalvoy. As the story goes, he checks into hotels under fake names for dalliances with hookers and is willing to pay $4,700 for a little loving. When DA Jack McCoy (Sam Waterston) reveals to Shalvoy he's been identified on tape, things get ugly. "I want to hit him, Jack," Shalvoy's wife, Rita, says to McCoy. "I want to hurt him. He broke my heart, but I will not be the long-suffering wife who stands by her man in front of the cameras and is dissected while he grovels for forgiveness. I will not be that woman. I won't be humiliated."

Do I detect a slam against Silda "Stepford" Spitzer? Art does not imitate life...